Everything is bad how to live on. What to do if everything in life is bad: an exit strategy. Remember that destruction is necessary for transformation

Unfortunately, life circumstances do not always turn out the way a person wants. This can lead to depression or stress. It is better not to allow such a state and try to bring yourself to a positive attitude.

What to do?

What to do when life is bad? Not every person can easily overcome life's difficulties and solve any problem situations. Some people need practical guidance on what to do when everything is bad in life. Sometimes a person waits out such periods when it seems to him that everyone is opposed to him. In these situations, it is important to remember that people's thoughts have such a property as implementation into reality. Therefore, when a person thinks that everything is bad with him, it actually happens. Even the weather can be inclement during these life periods. Troubles haunt a person everywhere: at home, at work and even on vacation.

In order to get out of this state, you need to pause and reflect on whether everything is really so bad. Ideally, you need to look at yourself from the outside. It should also be remembered that, therefore, you can pay attention to the life difficulties of other people. Then, perhaps, their problems will not seem so significant and large-scale.

How to fight and what to do when everything in life is bad? First you need to understand what life situation provoked a bad mood and depressive mood. As a rule, all the incidents that lead to a breakdown have long been known. These include: personal experiences with the opposite sex, material difficulties, conflicts at work. Of course, this list is incomplete. For example, depression can begin because of the death of a loved one. But here we do not touch on such a serious problem, but on the simpler experiences of people.

What to do when everything is bad? Secrets of success in personal life and career

So, now let's talk about personal experiences associated with the opposite sex. Both men and women can experience the end of a relationship. In this case, you should treat this problem philosophically and think about what would be better: continue the conflict relationship and be in an uncomfortable state for yourself, or let go of the person and try to improve your personal life on your own. You also need to know that life is tuned according to the principle of a pendulum, that is, you need to remember that if a person is now experiencing a crisis, then after a short period of time the Universe will give him positive moments, from which he will be joyful and light in his soul. Often there are cases when a problematic situation turns into a good denouement. At this point, it is worth thinking about the fact that if it were not there, then the further favorable development of events would not have happened.

Financial difficulties are also one of the most common sources of bad mood in people. Especially because of this, men are worried. They think they are unable to provide for their families. The wife can also "add fuel to the fire." Instead of supporting the spouse, he begins to demand money from the husband for the family, children and household expenses. Women should not be blamed for this situation, since by their very nature they want their children not to need anything, to be beautifully dressed, shod, attend good schools and sections. Men need to calm down and think about the possibility of changing the scope of their professional skills. Or change to make new acquaintances and so on.

Professional environment

How to behave if a black streak has come in life? What to do when everything is bad in the professional field? If we talk about conflict situations that occur at work, then the following rule should be followed here: you should not take them to heart. Everything that happens in the work team should be left there. We need to look for ways to resolve, and not delve into the conflict and the situation itself. You should not strive to please everyone in the work team.

People come there to make money. Therefore, communication with colleagues should be built in a business-like manner. Of course, there are friendly teams that move to a closer level of communication. Still, it would be better if relations with employees remain neutral.

Reflect on what's happening

What to do when life is bad? Now let's give some practical advice. First of all, you should decompose your feelings, that is, figure out what is the cause of the depressive state, and what to do if everything is bad. Next, you need to think about whether there is a possibility of resolving this situation. If yes, then you need to take action in order to solve this problem. If there is no opportunity to turn the situation in your direction, then it is better to refuse to solve it and let it go.

For example, when a person has a personal conflict with some employee in a team, the option of dismissal and job change should be considered. You should not think that, having quit one large company, it will not be possible to get a job in another. It is better to think that there is a better offer for the implementation of professional skills. And then you will not need to think about what to do when everything in life is bad.

positive thinking

You need to learn, that is, to look at all life's troubles through the prism of a smile and good mood. You need to be able to turn any problem in your favor and extract positive aspects from it.

For example, if a person has financial difficulties, and for his life, it is worth considering that perhaps he should change his field of activity and do something else. There is a possibility that he is not in his niche, and the current work does not bring him moral or material satisfaction.

Forget bad habits

Do not get addicted to bad habits. Common is such behavior of people as the abuse of alcohol and tobacco during the period of experiencing any difficulties. Should not be doing that! Since bad habits will not solve those tasks that require attention. In addition, they will take away a person's vitality and health. Time will also be lost, which would be better spent on solving the necessary tasks.

Sport

Sport is an excellent support for getting out of depression. Firstly, physical exercises help to improve blood circulation in the human body. And this is directly related to the stimulation of the brain. Secondly, the load on the body allows you to escape from the accumulated experiences. People can sensibly look at and assess the situation in which they find themselves. In addition, an excellent physical shape will allow you to feel confident and free in any situation.

Good deeds

Good deeds also help to get rid of a depressive or stressful condition. Currently, there are many charitable foundations and volunteer organizations that provide assistance to people in need. Joining such movements is quite simple.

They will welcome any help that is offered to them. As mentioned above, everything is known in comparison. When a person sees with his own eyes what life situations other people are in, then their problems will seem ridiculous and insignificant to him.

Burn the bad

Force yourself to get rid of negative thoughts. Don't constantly think about how bad everything is. In order to tune in to a positive perception, you can write on a piece of paper what brings you dissatisfaction, and then burn this piece of paper. You also need to learn not to cling to bad thoughts. But it also makes no sense to push them away from you, since in this case they are also emphasized. You just need to ignore the negative, skip it past. But if a positive thought comes into your head, from which a smile appears, then you can twist it in your imagination, imagine yourself in different situations that bring satisfaction, give harmony and delight.

Contact a professional

What to do if everything is bad? The recommendations of a psychologist should help in solving this problem. If you can not cope with the problem on your own, then you should consider the possibility of seeking help from professionals. Psychologists, priests, confessors, as well as friends and relatives can help. You should choose the one from the conversation with whom it will become better at heart. It is necessary to believe that if you share your experiences with other people, they will decrease. Perhaps someone will help with good advice or action.

Positive thoughts will help you get out of a difficult situation faster, so force yourself to think that everything will be fine tomorrow. Then there will be no question of what to do if everything in life is bad. There is a practice that comes down to the fact that you need to learn to think about the good as if it had already happened to you. You can practice on simple desires, which are not difficult to fulfill, and then move on to more complex tasks. The first time will take more time to implement the plan. But in the future, the application of such a practice will give positive results in a shorter time.

act

What if everything in life is bad? The action will lead to a quick resolution of the problem. You should not wait for the weather by the sea and think that everything will be resolved by itself. It is better to take all possible actions to resolve the conflict. This applies to both working moments and personal experiences. Everything possible should be done to get out of this situation.

Accept what's happening

If a situation occurs that cannot be influenced, then you need to come to terms with it and accept it. This is about the death of a loved one. It is also worth learning to treat life philosophically, you should not blame anyone or anything for your problems. If that's the case, then that's the way it should be. We cannot influence any situations that happen to us. Therefore, it will be better to learn how to overcome the trials that fate has prepared for us.

Conclusion

In the life of each of us there is a black streak, and it can drag on for a long time. Sometimes this makes the future seem hopeless. And a person in this situation is inclined to think that the best is already behind him, and only disappointments are ahead. How to deal with it? Should we expect help from outside? Or open a second wind in yourself and move on? On the one hand, you begin to understand that the worst thing is inaction. But on the other hand, you are always afraid to mess things up even more and make things worse.

At the very least, one should try to act. If you sit idly by, then sooner or later it will lead to depression, and not everyone is able to get out of it on their own, without resorting to the help of a psychotherapist or even a psychiatrist. To be more precise, these are units. It is best to try to find out the cause, to identify the moment after which everything became bad, because when one thing clings to the other, it can be difficult to find out exactly what started everything. But some insignificant trifle can unbalance - a passing moment, which was even unnoticed right away, but deeply sunk into the subconscious. This is enough to instill in a person uncertainty in the decisions being made, and after that everything may not go as we would like. And after that, troubles can grow like a snowball.

However, a lump of snow can melt, and in order to melt it, you just need to heat it up. In the same way, you need to warm your soul with something so that adversity recedes. After all, the troubles themselves may not be as terrible as our negative reaction to them. The criterion for good tolerance of adversity is the ability to return to your rut as soon as possible. That's why you just need to answer two Russian questions: who is to blame and what to do?

Find out the reasons why morally bad

Of course, there are quite objective reasons because of which it can be bad at heart: a loved one died or a loved one left, there was a quarrel with parents or a soulmate. In the service, the boss or some presumptuous colleague may not give life. Of course, at work, the world didn’t converge like a wedge, but still, you can’t change it at one moment, and a bad team greatly poisons life. A student often has to experience strong moral tension during the test and examination sessions, and it is not surprising that it is replaced by apathy. Then the holidays are not fun. And sometimes it happens that at home everything begins to fall into disrepair: one breaks after another and it seems that the whole surrounding world is being destroyed. In the end, it can pump up your own health. A long-term recovery can also add to the gloom, especially when colleagues or friends go to the gym or go on outdoor activities, and this is impossible for you.

From these examples, you can choose something suitable for your situation. But it is quite possible that you will find some other reason for your bad mood. And when you know what to fight, you can already think about how best to do it.

Don't let panic turn into depression

The first negative reaction to events is active, in itself it can be an outburst of anger or a feeling of despair, but this is not depression yet, but rather panic.

Panic moods arise from a sense of imminent danger. Therefore, one must either adequately resist this danger, or move away from it. How exactly to proceed, you can understand from the example.

Let's say the danger is great, and it can be compared to a train rushing at you or a forest fire breaking out. It is perfectly reasonable to step off the rails and let the train pass, and then continue on its way. It is also advisable to run away from a forest fire somewhere closer to a reservoir in order to sit out the raging elements in the water.

If the danger is not of such a global nature - for example, it is a bully who is waiting for you around the corner to rob you - then you can arm yourself with something heavy, take a stun gun with you, or use a technique of martial arts known to you to neutralize the attacker. In the end, you can just go the other way, and let yourself wait ... by the sea for the weather.

We've looked at physical objects as examples, but roughly the same thing happens on a moral level. For example, a force majeure event could be the closure of the business you work for or your particular department. You cannot reverse this process, but you have another way out: start looking for a job almost immediately, as soon as you find out about the upcoming reduction. You begin to act, and the circumstances no longer put pressure on you so much, as you get some degree of freedom and independence.

If you got a bad team at work, then you can try to move to another department or, secretly from the authorities, also start looking for a new job. If you do not get along with the team, then it is not a pity to lose such a job.

If you quarreled with your girlfriend or wife, then you have about a thousand or even more attempts to improve relations. And if nothing happens from the first, second, and so on ... times, then come up with many more plans on how to charm your beloved, what to give her, say, write in SMS or in a letter so that she thaws.

The most important thing is not to give up. You need to move your paws, like that frog from Panteleev's fairy tale, which got into milk and knocked down a piece of butter in it, which helped it get out.

Alas, it also happens that depressive states roll on their own, and this happens somehow gradually, that you don’t understand their true cause. This happens when the weather is constantly cloudy. During the day you can not see the sun's rays, and at night neither the moon nor the stars peep through. Weather depression is treated with exactly what is lacking in nature at the moment - warmth and light. The British had a habit of sitting near the fireplace, looking at a live fire and basking near it, which is not surprising, given the number of rainy days a year in Foggy Albion. In our cities, it is impossible to have a stove or a fireplace at home, but you can visit turbo-tanning salons, use bright electric lights, take a warm shower or bath, and also turn on electric heaters if it is too damp or cool at home.

The monotony of work, the daily routine, when it all becomes hopeless and monotonous, can also lead to depression. The routine is especially pressing on people who have a creative warehouse of character. Today it is fashionable to say that such a person has creativity. And if this was said about you, then you are the type that is contraindicated in monotonous monotonous activity.

To distract yourself from it, you need to force yourself:

• visit theaters, cinemas, excursions and museums;
• go on quests in reality;
• get out into nature;
• meet up with friends you haven't seen for a long time;
• change the dining room where you go for lunch to various cafes that are located near your work.

That is, you need to add more variety to this routine life so that it does not seem like it. Well, by the way, listening to music helps. And not only when you drive from work, but also during your lunch break.

The state of despondency and the realization of hopelessness can visit anyone who has already tried several times to get a job, but was constantly refused. It's hard to give general advice for everyone here, but one thing can be said to any unsuccessful job seeker: it's not your fault! If unemployment is growing in the country, then the personnel departments of enterprises are not interested in recruiting a large number of candidates. Often, open vacancies in firms are simply taken and reduced so as not to lay off existing staff. Consider that the guys who already work in this company are also having a hard time: they are forced to work for two, three or four. These people often pay for having a job by never returning home on time, and their brains are literally boiling from mental work that has fallen down. After all, it is much more difficult to standardize it than the work of a turner or a weaver, where the result of labor is quite material.

When a lot of problems really piled up, it might look like this:

• a small child is constantly or chronically ill;
• trouble occurs at work;
• one of the elderly relatives is seriously ill, and he needs constant care;
• the car broke down, and you have to get to work "on the bed";
• wages are delayed
• the apartment was flooded with neighbors from above;
• bailiffs blocked the salary card due to an unpaid fine, which was not sent on time from the State traffic inspectorate;
• due to salary delays, it is not possible to pay the mortgage on time, and the bank turned to collectors;
• the mother-in-law was invited to the house to help with the baby, and she is always dissatisfied with something, besides, she is trying to establish her own dictatorship in the apartment.

If all this happens at the same time - and this is a very real situation, then life can turn into a living hell.

However, there are also positives to be found:

• there is a child in the family, while others cannot even give birth;
• you have a place to live, while others rent an apartment or a bed;
• you have a car, and there’s nothing else to even buy it for;
• you have not yet been laid off from work, although your salary is delayed;
• upstairs neighbors can pay money, thanks to which you will catch up with mortgage payments, and if the apartment is insured, then insurance will help you out a lot;
• you can make repairs on your own and invest in it at a minimum, then there will be funds left to solve financial problems;
• if a grandmother is constantly near the child, then you and your wife have more free time, so spend it with joy!

It's much worse when you get the impression that others have everything and you don't. You didn't start a family, you didn't buy a car, you live in an old apartment, sharing it with your parents or even distant relatives. Yes, and the work is so-so, uninteresting, but at least some money is paid. Abroad, you can’t rest on them, but at least you’re not hungry. From this life can seem gray and unbearably boring.

You can try to change your life, and then, perhaps, something will work out. Approximately in the same situation, only corresponding to his life realities, was the famous character of Cervantes - Don Quixote. This good man did not find anything better than to fight for the truth, but he did not want to kill anyone at the same time, and therefore fought with windmills. It can be said that he found a good simulator for himself ... And most importantly, he took an active life position, and this did not allow him to fall into depression.

No financial stability (no job, no money)

Such a state can unsettle anyone. You can even find a job, but it will not bring in enough money, or they will simply be delayed. Today it is difficult to find a good permanent job. She will always be imperfect. If the salary is tolerable, then the employer will squeeze all the juice out of you for it. All the same, you will work much more and longer than it is necessary for such money.

Alternatively, you can find yourself several types of part-time work and one main job, where the load will be low. It is especially good if you can receive money for these part-time jobs in small portions, but more often than twice a month. This will help you reach your salary, and in general you will have the impression that your pocket will not be empty for a long time in any situation.

Tormented by constant fatigue and frequent illnesses (or a serious illness)

If this is only chronic fatigue, then it may be due to excessive loss of energy. Perhaps there is a person in your environment who draws the energy of others onto himself. You need to try to find out who it is, and reduce communication with him to a minimum. This will give you some energy so that you can work on your state of mind. You need more positive, funny moments, and then your energy will grow. Walk on sunny days or in the evening along beautifully lit streets, watch comedies, read adventure literature, and soon you will not recognize yourself: you will become a superhero yourself.

When it comes to illness, nothing is more motivating than the news that a person has easily recovered from cancer or AIDS. And there were such cases, and in each of them the patient simply changed his worldview, began to take life easier, and the terrible disease receded before that. Scientists have already established that many cases of asthma, gastritis, and allergies are psychosomatic in nature. A guy who was allergic to peaches got rid of it after a hypnosis session, in which he “reconsidered” his attitude towards an accident that happened to him. An elderly woman suffered a stroke, due to which she lost her memory of the past. And at the same time, her asthma went away as well. She lived as if from scratch, so the old ailment did not return to her.

In the end, if the local doctor cannot cure you, contact two more specialists and listen to what diagnosis they make. But do not let paid clinics “feed” on your wallet: alas, now there is such a trend, and it is quite easy to notice it if you are prescribed too many tests and examinations.

Just dropped your hands and do not want anything

Here you need to literally "pull yourself out of the swamp by the hair." You can complain to one of your close friends that this is happening to you. Active rest and a change of scenery saves from such a state of mind, but it will be difficult for you to do it yourself. If a friend calls for fishing or a holiday home, just cling to him in tow ...

Here you need to think about it: is it really that bad? If she even ran away to another guy, then this may be a temporary hobby. Imagine that you are married to her, and she was carried away by an outsider. But having survived this stormy romance, she may well return to her family when she parted with her lover. If you can't live without it, then just be there, but in the shadows. Offer to stay friends and see how serious the new couple is. Maybe this guy is just a “soap bubble”, worthless and wanting to please the entire opposite sex. Then your girlfriend will quickly get bored with him, he will find another for himself, and then your beloved will have to look for someone to hide under his wing. And for this role, the “former” is best suited. And you are exactly that. Forward!

It also happens that you yourself got excited and quarreled. Find the courage to go for reconciliation and do it beautifully - with flowers, gifts, a declaration of love. Often this helps to thaw a woman's heart.

If this does not work out, then you just need to try to survive your grief, occupying your mind with some difficult task, and your soul with creativity. How did the "Moonlight Sonata" come into being? The legend says that at that moment L. Beethoven lost hope of marrying his beloved girl: she was married to another person. Who this girl is, only historians know, and the “Moonlight Sonata” was heard by all civilized mankind!

How to live when everything is bad and everyone is against you

Just find a point to start turning back those turbulent streams that carry you to the rocks. Just swimming against the current is useless, you need to find at least a small cliff that you can cling to and take a break. In life, that cliff can be something that stays stable and doesn't turn against you. If you have an angry boss, but at the same time a good relationship with colleagues, spend more time with them. If they smoke and you don't, then just take a walk with them to the smoking room and discuss the boss there. Joint ridicule of the "enemy" does wonders. You kind of look at your problem from the outside. Go to lunch with colleagues, you can also have a good conversation in a positive way over food.

Your sense of humor will help you get rid of sadness and despondency, and everything else (not just work) will begin to return to normal.

Look for a solution, even if there seems to be no way out

It is always worth considering what exactly causes a disgusting mood. You just have to laugh at small failures. For example, try to present them in the form of a humorous story. If you are familiar with the work of M. Zhvanetsky, understand and love him, it will not be difficult for you to repeat the successes of this author, albeit not as sparklingly.

Take all the troubles as a lesson for the benefit of the future

It is quite possible that the trouble that happened to you was sent by God himself so that you stop and rethink your life, your actions and attitude to the situation. Perhaps you would be in danger of another trouble, of truly monstrous proportions, but now you can avoid it, because you have been warned from above. Negative experience is also the result of an experiment called "life". And you, the great scientist, now know how to change the parameters of the system so that the next experiment will be successful and bring a discovery.

Set yourself up that everything will be fine

You took something into account in the system, building it anew. Now you can start a new experience. Does the system seem to be out of balance? Adjust its parameters or start all over again, only more carefully. Life is a whole science, and each of us is a great scientist, magician and sorcerer, priestly acting in this laboratory. You can influence the situation, and not only it - on you. This is the positive attitude. Now experiment!

Our trouble is that we are skeptical about religious dogmas and it is hard for us to believe that there is a paradise where the soul of the deceased goes. We see that the human body has become lifeless, that it is sent to the grave or crematorium. This process can no longer be reversed, and we will never again talk to a dear person and hug him. In fact, we still know little about the afterlife. From there, no one has yet returned in their own body, except for people who have experienced clinical death. Therefore, it is impossible to say that a person simply turns off, like a light bulb, is 100% impossible, as well as the fact that the soul that left the body continues to live somewhere.

Dead people often dream of us and talk to us. And this somehow at first helps to overcome stress from the inability to communicate with the deceased forever. Just believe in your soul that your loved one exists somewhere, and his soul feels good there. you can share this only with comrades in misfortune, who also mourns for this person. But with others who are not touched by this tragedy, there is no need to talk about such dreams: they may not understand you and decide that you are crazy from grief.

You need to communicate more with people and not be alone. It is worth finding a difficult task for yourself and trying to complete it. The task should be difficult, but feasible. If it is impossible, then you can again fall into depression, and this is unacceptable.

There is no need to think about the bad, everything will be fine

We need to learn to look back less and look forward. If you see that you have a future, you will appreciate the present moment more. You will understand that if you do not sit idly by, then everything will work out, everything will work out. That you are the smith of your own happiness. And happiness is, first of all, your inner mood, and not external events. It's your relationship with them, not them on their own.

Modern life is very dynamic. Every day we face many problems and challenges. But sometimes it happens that we seem to have hit an invisible wall - it seems that we are doing everything right, but we cannot move a single step forward in our actions, or we do it very, very slowly.

But that's all. This is an occasion to think about how to change the situation if nothing works. What to do? These tips apply to work, hobbies, sports, personal life .. And in general to our lives. Follow them and you'll be fine!

It probably didn't happen too often, did it? Why don't things go the way we plan them, why don't things go the way we imagine? We have recently come to the conclusion that we as humans try too hard to control the situation. We see life too much as a plan, something linear that can be organized, anticipated, measured.

But, from my point of view, life is much more like biology than a project. It works more on trial and error than something you can easily measure and control. Why do we always talk about plans in life when no plan stands up to meeting reality?

Do something else
The first thing to do is stop, do something else, or just relax. Before that, you worked with information, and its resource for further advancement was exhausted.

Get distracted, let the information “settle down” in your head, restructure. This is done without our knowledge :) After that, you can look at the problem in a new way.

We speak as if we can confidently expect what will happen. At work, we imagine what we will do this week, how everything will go, how our day will show us. The boss then arrives and announces that plans are changing. Goals are up this week.

Life happens between reality and plan
And then you wake up talking until two o'clock in the morning with someone, three days in a row, and you realize that "Oh, something is happening." He doesn't have the height, eyes, hair, laughter that you imagined. And yet you feel good in your company. Then you will also find that it has flaws. Wait, wait, that wasn't the plan.

Personal experience
More recently, the same thing happened to me: I worked remotely with one of the sites and did not understand why, if I do everything correctly and as usual, no expected changes occur with the project. I spent a decent amount of time on this until I decided to quit this activity, to rest for an hour or two. And as soon as I was a little distracted, the information at my disposal settled down in my head, and I realized how obvious the reason for the stop was. And all it took was to switch their attention to other activities and relax a bit.

You thought that the first job would be a certain way, but it's not. The truth is that quite a few things are as we expect. Once we understand and accept that life is more like biology than mathematics, the chaos around us will make more sense.

You will understand why things are the way they are, or at least you will agree that you cannot understand them. You will see that mistakes and failures are natural, they are part of the process of adaptation, learning. Sociology, business and life in general will never be as simple and predictable as mathematics or physics.

It is very important to be able to look at your actions from a new point of view, to go beyond the usual boundaries. Here is the same as in the problem about points.

How to connect 9 dots with four lines without lifting the pencil from the paper?

Chances are the solution will be closer than you think. It is enough to go beyond the boundaries outlined by the conditions;) A walk in the fresh air or meeting with friends can do us a good service in this. We will give our brain new impressions that will help us see the problem from the other side. They will stimulate our creativity. It's like the poets who needed a muse for inspiration.

There is only one way to be successful in life, even if some "successful salespeople" tell us. People are successful in one area with another, even opposite approach. You just need to find what suits you. Life is not a plan that we implement, it is a test where we see what is happening and what we do not constantly adapt to. If something works, do more, if not, try something else.

So don't try to foresee, control so much. Enjoy life, accept that you are wrong, things will not go according to plan, and you can control the destination. Why do we complain about nature? He behaves generously: life, if you know how to use it, is long. Of course, the rest of space is not life, but time. Vices swell and surround people on all sides, and they do not allow him to rise or lift his eyes to the true exam, but keep them immersed in passions.

If it doesn't work, reformulate the problem.

A lot depends on how exactly we describe to ourselves the tasks that we need to complete. Agree, the more detailed we define the procedure for ourselves, the better we will understand what and why we are doing.

In addition, this is how we will see our real movement - it will give us strength. So we get rid of problems with our lack of motivation. It will be useful to remember our previous achievements - this will help to feel that we are worth something in this life, to believe in our strength!

Look at those whose prosperity makes people flee: they choke on their possessions. How much wealth in weight. How much eloquence and daily Crowd of customers crawling around leaves no freedom! In short, she looks at everyone, from the weak to the strongest: it calls help, it is he who gives in, he is in danger, the one who protects, the one who judges, no one claims that he owned it for himself, the one who spend on someone else.

Therefore, the indignation of some people is very sublime: they complain about the bourgeoisie of the authorities because they did not have time when they wanted to ask for a hearing. Or complain about the other's pride that he ever has for himself? So you didn't put any of those activities into your account because you didn't, you didn't want to be with others, rather you couldn't be with yourself. When was the last time you felt like you were in complete control of a situation?

Keep calm

If you are the type of person who worries about everything, has a hard time coping with failures, you urgently need to do something about it! Remember that negative emotions do not help us solve problems.

As you push yourself more and more, you get further and further away from your goals. And in this case, only you and no one else will be to blame. Worrying about failure not only distracts and exhausts you, but it can also destroy your self-confidence. How can you achieve something if you think you can't do it?

Lack of control is a source of stress
Some areas are still missing. A negative answer immediately makes you think that if you don't care where your life goes, you have little chance of getting what you want. But at the same time, you can't do everything at once. When do we worry the most? When we know something can go wrong, we feel like we can't control it. Sometimes this is true, sometimes not.

It is often difficult to overcome stress or the thought of "jumping" to pinpoint the problem. Specify its causes, ways to overcome them. The easiest way is to tell yourself what could be the worst if you don't touch anything. Often the "loss" seems so small that you immediately know that you are worried about it. In short, you are in control of the situation.

Everything depends on ourselves

Remember that there are no people who are never wrong. If you meet a person who says that he has never been late in his life () - do not believe him, this does not happen.

We are all human, we are not perfect. The main thing is to believe in yourself and in your strengths, never stop and move forward all the time!

The Right Lifestyle Leads to Satisfaction
When we live in such a way that every day we strive for something, we are more motivated because we feel our leaders in our hands. This is most apparent when our goal is to have a good rest. The second important thing is that life is a life passage without any control.

What areas of life have you left?

And it's for the same reason. These areas control you, not you. The bottom line is that we only have 1-3 tasks that we need to do, and all the rest go to the "I'll do it later" list. The difference is that, as a rule, the list of daily jobs grows only due to the emergence of new and urgent customer needs. Thus, the original work always remains unfinished. And as we see more and more work in progress, we begin to feel bad. There is no reason to mention reasons.

Why does it happen that for some people nothing works out in life, nothing succeeds, while others are constantly lucky? It would seem that a lot of work has been done to achieve the goal and it's time to get a positive result, but it wasn't there - unforeseen circumstances arise and everything falls apart. Luck turns away. What is the reason for the indifference of fortune?

Thus, when applying these new methods, only those whom you are fully committed to the cause are listed, and everyone else is in the following list. Thus, control moves into your hands and returns to the satisfaction of what you do. So, the luck of the cartel is determined by whether you are the owner of the situation.

This is another cause of stress and discomfort. When we put off work, we stop striving for what we know we want and then emptiness again. In other words, we realize that the situation has fallen out of our hands. At some point, she begins to control us.

You look from the side, for some people everything turns out easily, everything succeeds, while for others - constant difficulties and. The most annoying thing is if this is what you do not succeed.

And different questions constantly climb into my head ... Well, why is that? Well, what am I doing wrong? Well, why did such and such a person get everything, but I can’t achieve my goals in any way? Why can't I earn the right amount of money? Or arrange a personal life? Or find a good job?
We are looking for reasons in ourselves, in the surrounding people and circumstances, in the vicissitudes of fate. Indeed, there are reasons that we are not always able to consciously control, but which have a significant impact on the effectiveness of our actions. It is quite difficult to notice this on your own, because not all of us have enough courage to look at ourselves and our actions from the outside.

How to take control of your hands?

However, it should be understood that everything cannot be eliminated immediately. If you do the opposite, then almost most of life's initiatives will automatically be taken into your own hands. Be curious when you feel something is wrong, don't overcome the problem, don't face it. Physical pain refers to some physical ailment, for example, a toothache means that a tooth is broken and something needs to be done.

What are the five things you value most in life?

Unpleasant emotional feelings equally indicate the need to take action and correct the situation. What do you think is the most important thing in life? What 5 things are you most willing to fight for?

Write down 3 key life goals in 30 seconds

Due to time constraints, answers must point to true aspirations, overriding all environmental pressure and brainwashing.
There is an opinion that the life path of a person is predetermined from the very beginning, even before the moment of his birth. However, we tend to believe that the fate of a person only partly depends on the genetic code laid down in him by his parents. Perhaps some events are predetermined. But in general, fate is multivariate, and the character of a person, his thoughts and actions can change in accordance with his views and beliefs under the influence of willpower.

What would you do if you won a million?

In other words, what would you do if you had all the time and enough money? What would you do first? This question lets you answer the question as if you have no limits. What would you do and how would you spend your time if you knew today that you will die only after 6 months. Imagine being healthy for 6 months and then just dying. When you start thinking about death, then real values ​​appear on the surface, that is, the most important thing for you in your life.

What have you always wanted to do but were afraid to try?

The question we are asking is the first answer you have to make in life. You may have already decided to take it, but later you changed your mind because you got a little scared. You may have made an apology to delay your goal. His name is "Inverted". When you are full of energy, enthusiasm and activity, then everything looks like humor. You still need to keep everything else in mind. Well, but that's enough for midnight, you need to do something useful in the morning.

The idea that fate is sealed is convenient for people who do not want to take action and are content with what they have. And they justify themselves by blaming other people or circumstances for the result. This opinion is suitable for people who take a passive position and have a passive outlook on life. But people who are accustomed to taking the initiative into their own hands are more at heart with the opinion about the multivariance of the future and the possibility of changing it.

After 3-5 weeks, there comes a time when work planning stops. You don't like anything, just go away, damn well and sleep a lot, read a good book or watch a movie. This state lasts 1-2 weeks. When they finish, everything starts from the beginning. A lot of strength and a lot of accumulated work, so help them. This time more and more trying to remember that you need to rest.

As you probably already understood, everything goes in cycles. Have you heard the word biorhythms? This is a mathematical model that shows how a person will live in physical, emotional and intellectual life depending on time, i.e. identify good and bad days. By doing more research, it is now considered pseudoscience. However, even if it cannot be subtracted or the error is too high, my life is definitely cyclical.

How does life change happen? First, a person has a thought or idea to change something or achieve something. Then the person begins to realize why he needs these changes. Intrinsic motivation appears, forcing you to choose among a variety of options for actions and actions, then perform the selected actions. If a person deliberately performs the same act several times, these actions become a habit in him. New habits can change character. A change in character provokes a change in fate.

Work a week, stay a week

Most of the work is done when there is a lot of energy and enthusiasm. Then time ends imperceptibly. On those days, you need to work as much as possible so that others can relax in peace. Steve Pavlina read the advice about trying to work one week and the other didn't work and had several options. When the main income comes from hired work, this is difficult to do.

It is difficult to assess the result one-sidedly. On the other hand, working every week every week is difficult. That's why this one is the next work next week. When you do everything, he does nothing. However, when you focus on one thing, you can topple mountains. The easiest way is to simply work less. But in order to do something, you have to do it. Therefore, a more acceptable method of discarding work that is of little use is adaptation.

Therefore, it is very important to start learning. Positive thoughts entail positive actions and, as a result, good luck in business. Negative thoughts create bad habits that we don't even notice, poisoning our lives and moving us away from our goals. If any unfortunate events and circumstances repeat in your life, then most likely you have a negative habit that prevents you from moving forward.
In order to understand why nothing works out in life from what you planned, you need to objectively look into your inner world and recognize the negative attitudes, habits and stereotypes that are present in your mind and affect your behavior. Past negative experience can also be stored in the mind and, if misinterpreted, turn into complexes and fear of similar actions. So that complexes do not arise, you need to learn to always extract positive experience from any negative events.

Negative attitudes can be laid in us in childhood by parents, teachers, peers. And they can sit in our minds for the time being and shoot at the most inopportune moment. Very often, our reaction to external stimuli or an unplanned course of events becomes defense, expressed in irritation, anger, fear, insecurity, that is, negative emotions, under the influence of which we commit stupid and thoughtless actions, complicating our lives. Sometimes such emotional protection is not needed at all, but we, as it were, “turn on” it thanks to our negative habit.

In today's dynamic world, virtually everyone, even if you are a super positive person, has little depressions. When everything seems to be a dead end. What to do when things are bad? Nothing works out, nothing grows together anywhere, and life, in general, turns into something incomprehensible. An urgent question arises: what to do when things are not going well?

The main rule, and the most important - do not panic, do not look for the guilty. Calmly sit down and reflect on how it happened that everything ended this way and not otherwise. And is it over?

Write down all your problems that interfere with your life and plunge you into depression. Think about what problems you can solve on your own, and what efforts you need to make. Something from this list can be eliminated with someone's help. Well, you just need to accept something (nasty weather, for example) and stop perceiving it as a problem.

Learn to perceive the universe positively. Look for the positive in everything that surrounds you or comes your way. Have you been splashed by a passing car at high speed while you were standing at the crossing? And I could hit it. So be glad you survived. Learn to see the positive and fun side of every event. Remember, it is your perception that determines the circumstances that are happening around. And if your mood has sunk to zero or lower, you can always raise it! And you even need to do it!

Do not try to “fill in” the problem with alcohol. Of course, the fragment will become easier, but the next morning a hangover will come, and the wallet will not please you with the contents. Although ... you can relax a little. A glass of good wine before dinner never hurt anyone.

Try, while coping with problems that you just need to wait out, do something useful, such as sports. While all this will resolve itself, you will put your body in order. And they waited, and the problems went away, and the figure is normal. Okay?

Go to volunteers. Human nature is so arranged that it becomes easier for him when he sees that others are worse than him. And no one canceled the boomerang of goodness. Works. You will be distracted from your problems by solving other people's.

Feel free to vent your negativity. Beat the dishes, swear obscenities, in the end. But in no case should you nurse your pain, anger and hatred. This is absolutely impossible to do. Well, of course, do not try to vent your anger on loved ones. The release of negativity should be carried out into the air, do not direct anger at a specific object.

Chat. Communicate not only with girlfriends, influential people at work, communicate for the soul. Contact the Internet community (an article on how to communicate on the Internet may be useful here) on a topic that interests you, go to the temple. Perhaps it is religion at this particular moment that can help you. Feel free to ask for help.

It is not for nothing that they say that hope dies last. No need to think that only you have problems and no one else suffers except you. Tomorrow always comes. After the night, the dawn always comes. It doesn't matter how long the night lasts, the main thing is that it will definitely end.

Related article: Why don't I have friends? The main reasons for the lack of friendship.

What to do when things don't go well? Act. A rolling stone gathers no moss. From the fact that you sit back and groan loudly about your unfortunate fate, nothing will go anywhere and will not get better on its own.

We'll have to lift the sirloin and start moving. Think with your head and work with your elbows. What makes you think that someone will come running and solve everything? Move your head, arms, legs, whatever you want. Just don't hide in a shell to suffer alone.

But there are problems that only time and patience can help to survive. Tragedy with the loss of loved ones and dear ones heals only time. You just need to learn to live again.

Everything is bad and I do not want to live ...

Let's try to look at examples of situations where it is not clear what to do when everything is bad.

For example: husband left. Trouble? The trouble, but is it so critical that because of this, run to drown. Did you feel so good and comfortable next to this person that life without him loses all meaning? Most likely, in fact it turns out that not everything was chocolate. And he didn’t lower the toilet seat behind him, and smeared toothpaste all over the sink, and scattered tea bags all over the table, and all this terribly infuriated and annoyed you. He earned little money and spent it on fishing rods and fishing lines. He also liked pictures of strangers on social networks, and you had to think about whether he has a mistress or not. It was? It was. Furious? It pissed me off.

Well, everything, calm down. No more of this irritant, enjoy. There is room for the prince, who will immediately send the tea bags to the trash, and immediately wipe the tea stains on the snow-white tabletop with a napkin. And he will ride a bike with you on weekends. And you will get a dog together, choosing the most cheerful puppy from all offered. Otherwise, they would have been so angry at these bags for eternity, wiping the table.

Remember, the universe does not like emptiness. If space is vacated by one, another will take it. “Holy place, empty does not exist”, and you, clinging to the past, do not give way to the future. Learn to enjoy the moment.

Another example: a dull job that does not bring pleasure. Drop her. There are so many possibilities now. Just take a look around. Look, the vastness of the Internet is not only entertainment.

If you are comfortable working online while at home, then why force yourself to go to a dull office and communicate with people you don’t like. In order for something to change around you, you need to change inside. Everything depends on you. This is your life and you live it. No one can force anyone to be happy.

If you want to be happy, be. The human age in comparison of universal scales is short. There is simply no time for suffering and despondency. There are so many interesting things around. And you prefer to skid on the spot, savoring your problems. What for?

Another problem: quarreled with relatives. So make peace. Call and make amends. The state of affect, in which you shouted insulting words to each other in your hearts, most likely has passed. Everyone has already cooled down, including you. But be wiser, call and just find out how things are going. Not going back to that last fight. It's not weakness, the first step, it's wisdom. But pride is a sin, and the most mortal. Why do you sin? All the more so uninteresting.

When a person is depressed, even the smallest and most insignificant incidents seem to be universal tragedies. Even a banal hole in pantyhose can unbalance. Here you do not need to blow soap bubbles, do not inflate an elephant out of a fly.

Do not put household trifles in the category of problems at all. These are just things, things created for your comfort. Torn, broken, throw it to hell if you can't fix it. Please yourself with shopping, replace the damaged item with a new and sparkling one. Things exist for a person, and not vice versa.

Therefore, in such a situation, just enjoy going to the supermarket or shopping center. It will be great just to stop by a cafe or a movie on the way. Arrange yourself a day off, with shopping and entertainment.

In fact, any problem can be solved. Many problems are not problems at all, it all depends on how you yourself treat them. The longer you feel sorry for yourself and whine, the deeper you drive yourself into a deeper hole. Forever, as "Our Father" it is worth remembering that all problems, both their presence and their absence, come from your head.

It is specifically your attitude to all problems, and directly your desire to deal with the circumstances that occur on your life path. This is YOUR life and only you can decide what it will be, try to find harmony in your soul. Do you like to suffer sadly alone, or do you prefer to live positively and cheerfully surrounded by people who love you and whom you love, it's up to you.

Therefore, get ready, wipe your nose and forward, only forward. Life goes on!

A "stone" in the soul is not a simple depression "from a light bulb." This means that there are unfinished problems in life, and thoughts are painful and confused. There seems to be no one to load the burden of their problems on, everything must be decided by yourself, and it is not known what exactly to do with everything that has piled on.

And when the very peak of bad luck comes, everything is bad, there is emptiness in the soul, and hands drop, only then does the very depression begin. If you are already in this state, then let's dig - what went wrong?

Procrastination is a complicated word, but its essence is familiar to almost every person. Psychologists use this word to mean postponing things “for tomorrow”. This “tomorrow”, again, is postponed for an indefinite day, and meanwhile other unfinished business is collected in a huge lump.

No, this is not simple laziness, when a person just wants to relax and gain strength. This is a load of those problems that need to be done urgently, so rest is out of the question. But other things cannot wait, and they are all just as urgent. As a result, everything is done in a hurry at the last minute and typ-blunder.

The result - the result did not bring joy, the chance of victory was missed, and hence the moral emptiness. To prevent this from happening, here are some tips:

Get down to business - try to complete it right there. Well, at the very least, take a short time out for inspiration.

Do not grab everything at once, doing everything halfway. It is better to abstract from other problems, but focus on the most important.

Don't make promises to everyone to look nice. It is better to refuse once and remain honest than to promise, not to fulfill, and then hide.

Delayed the case - check if there is still a chance to catch up. If there is - do everything without delay, if not - "forget it."

Don't be upset about what you missed. This is a lesson for you - either you are trying to take on the unbearable, or the process itself is unpleasant for you, which means it is not needed.

Procrastination is dangerous when it comes to personal health or the health of loved ones. These are the problems that cannot be ignored. And everything else is nonsense: work, household chores and other trifles. So they were not so important if they could be postponed.

Therefore, the emptiness in your soul is just a time to think about new plans. Like a space on the keyboard between words: finish one word - "space" - start another. Just do not repeat your mistakes, make at least a clear schedule.

Almost all people are afraid of losing the property they own. Fear is almost obsessive. They think - if they lose everything, and there will be not only emptiness in the soul, but life will lose all meaning.

Nowadays, the path to enrichment is too easy. Take loans, mortgages - here you have housing, and a car and a house full of all the good things. But as soon as you lose a prestigious job, everything goes topsy-turvy:

The apartment and the car are taken away for non-payment.

All the gold remained in the pawnshop.

Loans choke, gathering in interest.

The emptiness in the pocket is the emptiness in the soul, no one can help, because even friends have defected to the side of more successful friends.

Unfortunately, the weight of such problems is felt by the vast population of our country. They beckoned everyone with too sweet candy, without explaining how bitter it is inside. And only a few look at everything with optimism:

They did not live richly - and there was no need to start. Again, a rented apartment - and do not care. Mortgage - the same rent, only much more expensive.

Thanks to fate for helping me get rid of false "friends". Now it is clear who is who. True friends remained close even in poverty.

Credits will go away and be forgotten. And fate gave a chance to start living from scratch and pointed out past mistakes.

The main thing is that the key phrase here is “start living”. And therefore - everything is just beginning, and it's time to fill this emptiness in the soul with something new and good.

If you don’t look at everything with optimism, you will mentally kill yourself and your family. But in such a situation, at least one person is needed who will pull all those suffering up, and not down. And it would be better if that person is you.

In general, all these problems should be looked at philosophically: “Thank you, God, for taking money. All my relatives are alive and well, and this is the main thing!

Changes in personal life - and not for the better

This is where the spiritual emptiness closes with difficulty. Only doctor time heals. In some cases, though, all is not lost.

abandoned husband

Such sad changes in the family knock a woman out of balance for a long time. Especially when a viper-razluchnitsa appears on the way. First, tantrums, threats, belittling, and then - depression, emptiness, heaviness in the soul.

But how many times have such gulens returned home with a confession? And how many times has it happened that women have already “boiled over” and their spouse no longer wants to be allowed on the threshold? Yes, and how many times women fell in love in a new way, and she no longer needed this old womanizer!

Therefore, if your husband is now lost, and you can’t find a place for yourself, know that he is actually still alive. There are many options to return him to the family, and one option is that you no longer need him.

Or maybe you're guilty of something? Maybe there is a chance to fix something? Maybe there isn't any streak? Then don't put it off until tomorrow - dry your tears and act today.

Loss of a loved one

Here everything is more difficult. For example, my mother passed away. You have already cried out all the tears, the terrible days of all the farewell ceremonies have passed, and you have gone into a deep depression. You look at one point, you don’t want to communicate with anyone, even though you are insanely lonely.

So far, time is working to heal you psychologically. For now, nothing is needed. The unobtrusive care of relatives and friends is good. The main thing is that they don’t pull you now in order to “knock the depressive nonsense out of your head.” It's not stupid, that's how it should be.

The best way out is to communicate with someone who has already passed a similar stage. Only he will help to calm and explain how best to get out of depression. It is to him that there will be trust. Just don't get hooked by any sect.

I hear the ringing of apathy, but I don't know where it is

The worst thing is to succumb to depression, when you wind yourself up incomprehensibly. I want to cry - but there seems to be no reason. Some melancholy, nothing more. It either spins in the abdomen, or gives off with pain in the heart, but you don’t understand: is this a premonition of something not good?

Yes, there is fear for the future - you are waiting for something, but you have worked yourself up in advance that the outcome must necessarily be bad. This is the mistake of many people. Moreover, the roots of such behavior sprout from childhood.

If from childhood you grew up in some kind of inevitable fear (there was violence and tyranny in the family), then such an oppressive state will always accompany you. It is called the pursuing and punishing superego. Moreover, if what scares you still happens, then you will only blame yourself for this.

If your condition is already close to the fact that only a bear bed saves you, then read the article. Maybe that's where your depression lurks, up to health problems. But if you are still able to move and work, then a few tips will not hurt you:

Don't beat yourself up with stupid things. Like, I had a bad dream or a fortuneteller guessed something there. A dream is just a reflection of our thoughts, therefore such a “scenario” develops. And the fortuneteller needs to earn money, so he prophesies all sorts of nonsense.

Surround yourself with positivity. I want a chocolate bar, but I want a Sabantu with my friends. Watch comedies on TV, switch thrillers and don't watch politics.

Do not lay your problems on others if they are incompetent in this. Lawyers and doctors are one thing, amateurs who promise but don't deliver are another.

Think only of a good outcome. And for this, act on your own, if it is in your power. Again, don't procrastinate anything.

In general, you can easily get rid of the feeling of heaviness in the soul with the help of some sedative medications. And they can't be ruled out either. She calmed her nerves - she cleared her head for good thoughts - and so many solutions will immediately be found to throw off a heavy mountain of problems from her shoulders!