Why don't people appreciate being treated well? Statuses about people Quotes about not being appreciated

Time passes, but one thing remains the same: people do not appreciate a good attitude. It is worth once to come to someone's aid, as a person will have to do it all the time: refusals are not accepted. Although gratitude for a good attitude sometimes happens, but this is the exception rather than the rule. Surely everyone is familiar with the gospel story about how Jesus healed 10 sick people, but only one thanked him. And this is far from the first evidence of human ingratitude.

An innate property of higher animals

The question of why people do not value a good relationship has been answered not only by psychologists, moralists and ethical researchers, but also by ordinary scientists, in particular, zoologists. So, Konrad Lorenz, an Austrian zoologist and animal psychologist, shed some light on the cause of human ingratitude. He studied the behavior of animals for a long time and came to the conclusion that aggression is an innate quality of higher animals.

There is also intraspecific aggression, when members of the same species attack their own kind when they enter their territory. This behavior helps to survive in the wild.

Invasion and Morality

Even without a scientific basis, it is easy to determine that intraspecific aggression is also characteristic of people, they just call it differently - competitive struggle. For example, in one city there are two photo studios. They are located in different parts of the city, and the owners are even friends. But if one of them opens his studio next to a competitor, then a fierce struggle and luring customers will begin, because such an act is an encroachment on someone else's territory.

A simple conclusion suggests itself from this: by nature, a person is evil, but at the same time a social being. To survive, he needs to learn to exist with his own kind, so there is morality, rules of conduct and other laws in society. To reduce someone's aggression, people try to express submissiveness. And the conclusion that suggests itself: gratitude and a good attitude are perceived as weakness. Everyone expects to be treated well, but no one wants to do it in return.

A person, doing good to someone, transcends his natural egoism and wants this “sacrifice” to be appreciated. If someone sees a good attitude towards himself, he feels his superiority. And it feeds the ego. That's why people don't appreciate a good relationship.

How to respond to ingratitude?

It has long been known that people do not value a good relationship. And during this time, a lot of sayings have accumulated. they say that it is impossible to provide services where they are not asked.

Treat others the way they treat you.

Don't do favors that you're not asked for.

Do good and throw it into the water.

Praises, like gold and diamonds, are valuable only when they are rare.

Do not look for scoundrels, meanness is committed by good people.

Despite the fact that a person is a rational being and must act rationally, most human actions are performed under the influence of instincts, and not reason. Since everyone has instincts, but fate has deprived someone of upbringing and prudence.

From Shakespeare

Well, with science and instincts figured out, it's time to move on to philosophy, ethics and aesthetics. Let's start with Shakespeare. Another famous playwright of the past asked the question:

Is there anything more monstrous than the ingratitude of man?

Unfortunately, he was never able to answer it. People did not appreciate and do not appreciate a good attitude, neither then nor now. It is worth helping someone disinterestedly, as instead of gratitude, a person is obliged to help constantly. No wonder they say that if you help someone a couple of times, someone's legs immediately begin to hang from their necks. People take kindness for granted and get very offended when they have to be rejected.

Goethe once said that ingratitude is a common weakness. Outstanding people will never allow themselves to be ungrateful. In any case, they will find a way to thank the one who helped them, and they will never forget the service rendered to them.

No fool and life is bad

There are many aphorisms about when people do not appreciate a good attitude. One of them is worth highlighting:

There must always be fools in the world who sacrifice their personal interests in the name of the public, receiving reproach and ingratitude in return (Alexander Hamilton).

It is possible that if everyone was engaged exclusively in their own affairs, then there would be no society as such. Perhaps anarchy would reign everywhere, people would look at each other like a wolf and would see their enemy in everyone they met. Only due to the fact that there are people who will not spare themselves for the benefit of others, society somehow resembles a civilized society. But even here there are many unpleasant situations that cannot be dealt with.

When they don't appreciate

People don't appreciate a good relationship. Quotations on this occasion can be given not one or two. The most unpleasant thing is when for the sake of another person you have to do unseemly, sometimes even illegal actions.

Ingratitude never hurts the human heart more than when it comes from people for whose sake we have decided on an unseemly act (Henry Fielding, "The Story of Tom Jones").

It is said that the victors do not tend to remember those who cleared the path to the throne for them with swords. This truth is as old as the world, but not a single ruler has yet disdained it.

A demonstrative gratitude, a few words, a diploma, a medal or a posthumous speech are formalities, not gratitude. Indeed, the game will go on until the king falls, no matter how many pawns lie at his throne. But one day fate will begin to take revenge, and then the one who did not know how to appreciate a good attitude towards himself will be in the place of the one whom he offended. Life is impossibly wise, so do not get hung up on the bad, one day everything will fall into place, the mosaic will work out and everything will be as it should be. The main thing is not to forget to thank fate for this.

In this collection are selected People do not appreciate a good attitude quotes for self-knowledge and self-development with photos and pictures.

He who does not seek friends for himself is his own enemy. Rustaveli.

Theory is dead without practice, but practice without theory is blind. V. Zubkov

It's easy to play with a girl's heart when she loves, but that's the meanest meanness.

One of the undoubted and pure joys is rest after work. Immanuel Kant

What distinguishes a rich person from a poor one is vocabulary. All a person needs to become richer is to expand their financial vocabulary.

Every person has a sun. Just let it shine!

Never start work before breakfast, and if you do need to start working before breakfast, eat breakfast first. Henry Shaw

Success in love takes away strength no less than failure. Erich Maria Remarque

Have you been thrown? Well say thank you! It wasn't your man!

Apparently, there are people who cannot live in peace unless they spit poison in someone's back.

Victory becomes inevitable if you leave no chance for defeat.

You are like a gentle fairy tale magic dream!

Anger towards a person will never grow into love.

Based on the opinion that children are joy, and men are weakness, it turns out that weakness is good, because without weakness there would be no joy.

One of the first duties of friendship is to forestall the requests of friends. Isocrates

Always choose the most difficult path on it you will not meet competitors.

Nothing in the world deserves such respect as a person who knows how to courageously endure misfortunes.

To love is to see a person as God intended him and his parents did not realize him. Marina Tsvetaeva

I always argued with the male sex that female friendship happens Guys, I'm sorry, I was wrong

Now, as always, the most automated appliance in the mom household. B. Jones

Do not look for motivation for yourself, become motivation for others!

Just as it is impossible to believe the old rogue, so is tomorrow. Both of them can easily trick you. S. Johnson

To marry without binding yourself in any way is a betrayal. Michel de

Everything is taken, but not everything succeeds.

What is the use of a man if he gains the whole world and loses his soul?

He who cannot dispose of one-fourth of a day for himself should be called a slave. Friedrich Nietzsche

If God deprives you of something, then he will definitely give you something better than before.

childhood friends. If you don't break up in adolescence, it's for life.

For a loving man: a woman is naked at home, and on the street in a hat.

If you can climb the mountain, don't stay in the valley.

You have to spend colossal forces just to simply overcome fears. But it's much worse to let them in. Jodie Foster

Kissing Marilyn was like kissing Hitler. Tony Curtis

The happiness of an individual outside of society is impossible, just as the life of a plant pulled out of the ground and thrown onto barren sand is impossible. Tolstoy A.P.

Success in great things depends on faithfulness in small things. Aurelius Augustine

I will love you forever

All charming people are spoiled, this is the secret of their attractiveness.

Women are grateful for love, men demand gratitude. Henrik Kaden

Love hurts everyone.

If you do not make mistakes, then you are not able to make a decision. Warren Buffett

No one will feel good around you while you feel bad alone with yourself.

A woman after thirty is the most dangerous! She is still young and beautiful, but no longer a fool!

And what Rabbit thought about this, no one ever found out, because Rabbit was very well-mannered. Alan Alexander Milne "Winnie the Pooh and All-All-All"

If you start with self-sacrifice for the sake of those you love, then you will end up hating those to whom you have sacrificed yourself. B. Show.

Know how to be friends and a true friend will meet you.

It’s not that they don’t appreciate him at all, gratitude for a good attitude happens, but rather as an exception, and not as a rule. The gospel story of how Jesus healed ten sick people and only one of them returned to thank him for it is perhaps the first evidence that 9 out of 10 people will be ungrateful. Why is this happening and how to deal with it?

Causes of human ingratitude

Light on the cause of human ingratitude can be shed by the studies of the Austrian zoologist and zoopsychologist Konrad Lorenz. Studying the behavior of animals, he came to the conclusion that aggression is an innate property of all higher animals. In addition, there is intraspecific aggression, when animals of the same species attack their relatives when they wander into their territory. In the wild, this helps them spread evenly across the habitat and provides enough food to survive.

What does this have to do with human ingratitude? And here's what: Lorenz discovered that intraspecific aggression is also inherent in humans. Without going into details, we can say that we know it better under the name of competition. For example, two shoemakers living on opposite sides of a big city can even be friends. But if one of them opens his shoe shop next to the other, the struggle to win over customers will immediately begin. Such an act is considered as an encroachment on someone else's territory.

So, a person is evil by nature, but at the same time, he is a social being. To survive in society, he needs to learn to coexist with his own kind. So there were laws of morality, rules of conduct and the like. To reduce aggression in another, people use various symbolic and submissive actions. Remember court etiquette! Moreover, these rules are different for each nation and can sometimes be radically different. Teaching these unwritten laws is what we call education.

The conclusion that suggests itself from the above may, at first glance, seem paradoxical: gratitude, like a good attitude towards someone, is perceived as a weakness.

I asked different people the same questions: “What kind of reaction do you expect from a person in response to your good attitude towards him?” and “How will you react if you see someone treat you well?” To the first question, everyone answered approximately the same thing: “I want a person to give at least a smile of gratitude in return.” And on the second: “Of course, I will be pleased, but ...” And then there were rational explanations of why a person does not believe that he must definitely do something good in return. For example: “I will do something good if he is of interest to me,” or: “I didn’t ask him about it.”

This also has an explanation. Doing something good for the sake of another, a person steps over his natural egoism, and wants this sacrifice to be appreciated. But when the same person sees a good attitude from someone else to himself, he perceives this as a sign of his superiority. If someone treats me well, then I deserve it. Like this.

This also explains the opposite - the so-called "Stockholm Syndrome", when the hostages of terrorists, after spending several hours or days with them, begin to support the ideas of their tyrants. Here the mechanism of self-defense is turned on - a person tries to show the one on whom, literally, his life depends, his loyalty, humility and what is called “we are of the same blood”. And this is often done quite sincerely and unconsciously. Hence the “popular love” for tyrants.

How to deal with ungrateful members of the human race

On this subject, people have accumulated quite a lot of wise sayings:

• treat others the way they treat you;
• do not show favors that you are not asked for;
• Do good and throw it into the water;
• praises, like gold and diamonds, have value only when they are rare;
• do not look for scoundrels, meanness is committed by good people;
• culture is the ability to weave the pattern of one's life, combining it with the patterns of other lives;

We should not ignore the fact that people often in their actions are guided not by reason, but by instincts. Everyone has instincts, the right upbringing does not. The rules of conduct adopted in society are designed to reduce aggression and confrontation between people. If you want to check it out, start saying hello to your neighbors if you haven't done it before. Don't expect more from people than they can and don't forget that you are human too.

In fact, people are more moral than their speculative conclusions, and more immoral than their ideas about themselves. Z. Freud

The dream of good people is to have a lot of money, bad people dream of a myriad. Georgy Alexandrov

Let's remain human until such time as science finds out who we really are.

There are all sorts of people: good and different. Unfortunately, the latter prevail. Yuri Tatarkin

Best Status:
Observation is characteristic of a kind and intelligent person, thanks to her ability, he notices human kindness. Pascal Blaise

“If people were guided only by selfish motives and thought only about the success of undertakings, there would be no innovations and undertakings” - Gotthold Ephraim Lessing

A person cannot be remade to fit your own standards, you need to be able to perceive him as he is. Dina Dean

Have you noticed that people around you communicate with quotes from Contact?

I look at people and clearly see - dogs are better ... Unknown (From various)

Sometimes a man forgets and talks too much about himself. He said - forgot, but the woman - remembers.

For an ordinary person, all people look the same.

Everyone in their friends has such a person about whom you can say: “just a good one”, and even a hand does not rise from friends to remove.

Take care of relationships now, so that you don’t re-read the correspondence later and ask yourself “how did it happen?” ...

Never forgive change. Any betrayal is a comparison, a search for the best. Those who seek the best will never appreciate what they have.

Your rich spiritual inner world is absolutely not interesting to the person who planned to fuck you ...

There are no irreplaceable! I have learned this lesson well.

Take care of each other! Now is such a time that it is very difficult to find something really worthwhile, real! And we, because of our stupid pride, at the slightest mistake, immediately give up our happiness.

Heinrich Heine

How magnificent is a man, if he is a real man! – Menander

A person must be judged not only by his deeds, but also by his aspirations.

A decent girl is easy to distinguish from a dishonest one: a decent girl knows that the word “neurotic” is spelled together.

If you solve your problems, new ones will come to replace them. The old ones are dearer, so I leave everything as it is. I'm a conservative, not a lazy ass.

Better to be a pleasant memory than an annoying presence.

I just want to ask... have you ever loved me? Have you ever been sincere with me? I want to ask, but I don't want to hear the answer...

All the handsome guys meet me when I look bad. - Where do you meet so many beautiful guys every day?

A romantic man will say something pleasant to a woman in the morning, and an experienced man will do it.

The more primitive a person, the higher his opinion of himself. (Remark)

Don't judge someone without knowing the person's past.

There are no invisible people, there are only unnoticed. - Valery Afonchenko

What you are afraid of comes to you.

May God return to you doubly, all that you wish me.

People are different: some quickly grasp, others quickly grab. – Sergey Skotnikov

By nature, people are close to each other; according to their habits, people are far from each other. – Confucius

And what God has created is subject to corruption. For example, people. – Valentin Domil

The happiest of all is the one who depends only on himself ...

Money is the spiritual essence of the entire modern society.

The masses can be lonely too. (someone, don't remember who)

When will man conquer interhuman space? – Lets S. E.

Man is the whole world, if only the basic impulse in him were noble. – Dostoevsky F. M

Don't lose the worthy... For the sake of the accessible...

“Man perishes, work remains” (Lucretius)

Fucked up is when you keep the secrets of other people, listen to the snot of friends, help your loved ones .. and at the moment when you feel bad yourself, you sit alone, listen to music and don’t even know who to talk to.

We are all hostages of our own identity, living in our own prison...

Noble people remember everything, prudent people forget nothing. – Don Aminado

Not everyone who has gone out into the world manages to remain a man. – Valentin Domil

The rarest kind of friendship is friendship with one's own head.

I am confident in myself because I know that I am loved.

People are the messengers of justice and love, therefore we are obliged to condemn any manifestation of injustice. — Verna Dozier

I prefer to do in my life what I love. And not what is fashionable, prestigious or necessary.

There was not one, there were several, different girls - beautiful, empty, inflated, angry, depressive, selfish ... they were just waiting for other princes.

Some are people not in essence, but only in name. – Cicero

The one who knows how to wait will achieve a lot!)

“Time heals”, no! time erases people from our past)…

Blaise Pascal

Sometimes it's easier to say "thank you" and "goodbye" instead of "let's be friends."

I hate it when they first give hope, and then pretend that nothing happened at all ...

Tears are an indication that you can feel...

When they hit on a coat, then the blows fall on the person who is wearing this coat.

Whoever thinks I'm arrogant and arrogant, draw conclusions about yourself. Normal people I always smile.

All people are the same in their uniqueness. – Olga Muravieva

Write to me what you can't say out loud.

In a man, appearance is not important. The main thing is that a man remains a man.

And there is a benefit from people - they relieve boredom. - Vadim Mozgovoy

We are humans and our destiny is to learn and be involved in imperceptible new worlds. — Carlos Castaneda

That which does not serve others dies. – Elbert G. Hubbard

People are loved not least by those who still do not want to develop a relationship with each specific person. – Evgeny Bagashov

Don't go back to the people who betrayed you. They don't change.

…if you wait until tomorrow, you are already late…

The world has deteriorated so much that when you have a pure sincere person in front of you, you are looking for a catch in this ...

Noble people spend their money on wasting time. – Suzanne Necker

It happens that you want to say something important, and you think, I’ll wait ... and then you realize that, probably, you don’t need to say anything anymore ... every word and feeling has its own time ...

cheap, flat humor (well said)

All people are equally poor. It's just that the rich have a cheaper ruble. – Unknown (Humor)

Oh, if someone would fall in love with me already ...

Man is a creature that gets used to everything, and I think this is the best definition of man. – Dostoevsky F. M.

A person is just a short-lived vessel for digesting food, he wants to enjoy life, and death lies in wait for him. — Aldington R.

Being a good person means not only not doing injustice, but also not wanting it. – Democritus

- Answer my light mirror, I'm beautiful, right? - You are beautiful - she answered - It's a pity there are no boobs!

I met a bad man, move away - do not spoil your life! I met a good man, move away - do not spoil his life!

There are many nice people, few useful ones. – Igor Karpov

People become the tools of their tools. Henry David Thoreau

Each person individually is mortal, but collectively people are eternal. Apuleius

Man is the greatest animal in the world.

A sane person should beware of enmity and bitterness. – Plutarch

I, probably, got very excited, calling some people relatives.

I'm on the letter "X", but not good.

A capable person is capable of anything. – Nikolay Sudenko

... life is arranged in an amazing way - a complete stranger thanks you simply for your existence and your smile, and the one who loves often cannot say the same simple words.

Greater energy should be given to the formation of one's personality than to persuading others.

Nothing is ever absolutely true.

“If opposing opinions are not expressed, then there is nothing to choose from the best” (Herodotus)

Question to a psychologist

I am 27. I work in a position that requires maximum attention. I work with money, which also imposes a very big responsibility. The schedule is flexible: I work from 8 am to 8 pm for 3 days, I rest for 3 days. Our company is such that we are not paid for processing, we are not given vacation. It takes at least a week to train a person for work, and then the first month of a beginner for me is continuous calls with questions, since I have been working for a long time. A girl got a job as my partner. She did not have any particular unpleasant statements about the work. And at one point, having worked her 3 shifts, she leaves for the weekend and the day before she was supposed to go out again, she writes that she was sick and would not come out. I work for her for 3 days and then for myself for 3 days. And I am writing to her to find out if she came out tomorrow. She replied that no, she wouldn't. And more and more he does not answer my messages and does not pick up the phone. Then in the evening she wrote that she was still sick and that she would quit when she got off sick leave. So I don't have anyone to replace me. And I'm already exhausted with work and I understand that no one will pay me for overtime. In general, I'm just offended and do not understand how you can do this? We didn't have any conflicts. You could just come to write an application to work for a month. During this time, they would have found a new person. Basically, I just feel overwhelmed. In part, of course, this is from working without days off. But also from the fact that they did this to me. Is it worth taking everything to heart? And how not to be born an impending depression?

Psychologists Answers

The girl did what she did and she may well not be accountable to you for her decisions. If you are ready to go to work without pay, this is your choice. Why are you doing this, I personally do not understand.

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Hello. Love. There is a good rule - Niuto does not owe anything to anyone. According to this rule, no one should care about your well-being, the number of hours worked, fatigue, except for yourself. And if you do not give any signals of resistance to such a situation, then another they will be more indifferent to your situation. There is a second rule - How I treat myself - this is how others will treat me. You allow others to not stand on ceremony with you, so others act as you allow. Therefore, there are no contradictions. you can resent the authorities, resent the behavior of the girl and call her to work, tell everyone how hard it is for you and it’s unbearable to work like that. But, you don’t defend yourself. Then there’s no one to expect help from. You will be unhappy and depressed. The way out is to love yourself and then defend your rights. Then the leader will add a person to you, or you will go home earlier without processing. Each person acts according to his value. you can stand up for yourself, your insecurity is noticed by those who benefit from making you work like that.

Karataev Vladimir Ivanovich, psychotherapist-psychoanalyst Volgograd

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Love, hello. An enterprise that does not take into account the elementary needs of a person - "they don't pay for processing, they don't give vacation .." treats you deeply disrespectful.

What makes you work there... and what does the girl who figured it out faster. "I'm already exhausted from work and they won't pay me overtime..."

Dear Lyuba, these are claims against the management of the enterprise, but not against a colleague. Let's think about why you suffer so much and why you allow yourself to be used.

Sincerely, Olga Chemeris.

Chemeris Olga Valentinovna, psychologist Kostanay

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