How to start a new life and change yourself. How to start a new life and change yourself: advice from a psychologist. How to start a new life from scratch? Family life from scratch

On the life path of each person there are certain moments that we would like to avoid. No one is immune from such psychological blows. Foreseeing all situations in advance is subject only to clairvoyants, and even then not always. Sometimes a person wonders how to completely change his life, due to the fact that the previous alignment does not meet his ideas about happiness.

Causes

The most common situations or circumstances that force you to reconsider your views include:

Unloved work or occupation not one's own business. Often a person becomes a hostage to his own professional employment, although it does not bring a decent material income and personal growth. Sometimes the fear of changing something is so great that it is better to let everything remain the same.
Exhausted relationships. When a partner stays around more out of habit than of their own free will.
Unsettled personal life. It seems that by age it is high time to start a family, but only there is no suitable candidate. However, the relationship is not built as smoothly as we would like.
lack of a normal way of life.
Serious illnesses, one’s own, one of the relatives or friends, as well as the loss of one of the loved ones due to a tragedy or an incurable diagnosis.
Overweight, which is becoming a problem every day.

How to start a new life and change yourself?

To give practical advice on this matter, you need to remember that a lot here depends on the initial state of the person, his current situation and psychological mood. Many people are pushed on the path of change by their close environment. Some seek advice on how to change themselves from professional psychologists. The solution to the problem directly depends on the starting point where the person is at the moment. Much also depends on age.

What should a teenager do for the better?

The first rather difficult psychological period begins around 11 and ends at 17-18. How to start a new life for a teenager if something went wrong on his way. There can be many reasons for such a decision. For example, often in adolescence, children experience a divorce of their parents. If a child was very close to a father who suddenly leaves the family, this can cause deep psychological trauma. During this period, adolescents are highly susceptible to the negative influence of society. Sometimes at this age they try drugs or alcohol for the first time.

To understand how to start a new life and change yourself, you should honestly look the problem in the eye. During this period, the teenager will need the support of someone close or the help of a psychologist. After the "debriefing" you need to maximize your free time with useful activities. Psychological pain is useful to treat physical labor or stress. So, most of the great athletes, as well as famous people, became such thanks to life's difficulties that forced them to show their will. A person who finds himself next to a teenager at a difficult moment for him should help him not withdraw into himself, perceive the world positively, and also figure out how to start a new life from scratch.

Changing life in 30-35 years

At any other age, people are no less susceptible to the influence of difficult psychological periods. That is why the change of job most often falls on the interval of 27-30 years, until the age of 35 a person tries to realize himself, his ambitions. If the reality is at least a hundredth of the same as the expectations, there is a chance that the age waves will pass quietly.

If, nevertheless, a person realizes that the circumstances in which he lives do not suit him, the question arises of how to start a new life and change himself. The advice of a psychologist on this matter is very diverse. Let's consider the main points.

Action plan

Effective method: you need to become what you want

Many psychologists advise using this method: in order to be who you want, you first need to become like such a person. Here's how it works. A person chooses a behavior pattern. For example, having bad habits, he accepts completely. The person behaves like an athlete, attends appropriate events, dresses appropriately. Over time, he begins to feel physically developed, healthy person. Subsequently, this is what happens. Everything works on the power of self-hypnosis.

What to do at 40?

This age is a rather difficult period. It has to do with many things in life. How to start a new life at 40? You should assess the situation, find positive moments, reconsider your actions and just calm down. The first step is to let go of your past, whatever it may be. You should tell yourself - what is not there is no longer worth anything. If memories bring only negative emotions, you need to protect yourself from them. A person must make it clear to himself that:

all responsibility for actions lies solely on him;
All events in life happen for a reason. If we cannot change the outcome of the case, then we must try to accept it;
he himself is a powerful source of vitality. No one except the person himself can influence changes for the better.

Methods

How to start a new life at 40? There are also simple ways:

find your own hobby, for which there was not enough time before;
meet new interesting people;
make repairs to your home, update the situation;
rethink your habits.

Parting phrases

We figured out how to start a new life and change yourself. Summing up, consider the list once said by the greats. May they bring confidence to everyone:

Starting the path anew, you need to understand that all changes will not happen at once.
In order to successfully take a hundred steps, you must dare to take the first. Everything happens in life, but with a positive attitude to everything that happens, it seems that the sun shines brighter.
Man is the greatest creation of the universe. Realizing your uniqueness, you can be sure of your own high self-esteem and success that awaits beyond the horizon of the future.
You cannot return the moment, but you can live it here and now.
When people meet along the way, they are given to a person in order to see himself from the outside. Some give an image of the past, others - the mistakes of the present, others - the possibility of the future.
All the troubles in life must be translated into attempts to gain experience, and this is priceless.
Gratitude is the greatest feeling that opens closed doors, points out the right path, calms the spirit.
Observing the purity of thought, a person brings it into his actions.
We show the world what we have in abundance inside, and others look at us as well.

Hello! In this article, we will tell you how to start a new life. Today you will learn:

What causes people to start life from scratch.
How and what to change.
Tips from psychologists to help change yourself and your environment.

Reasons to start life from scratch

Sooner or later, for all people, there comes a period when you want to give up on everything and radically change your life. There is a desire to turn back time, to correct mistakes. There can be many reasons for this, but everyone has their own. We have tried to collect and highlight the most common. Namely:

Favorite place to work. It is rare to meet a person who works at a job he loves. Often we choose a profession not at the call of our hearts, but on the basis of some circumstances (for example, we are satisfied with the salary or work schedule).
Relationships that have run their course. In order to find your soul mate, sometimes you have to build relationships with several partners. With some, short-term alliances are obtained, with others, longer ones. Often, each of the partners understands that this is not his soul mate, but no one wants to change anything in his life. Then the couple continues a relationship that has no future. In this case, both suffer.
Unsettled personal life. Dissatisfaction with the present may be due to the fact that a person does not have a life partner. Such people want to start a family, arrange their personal lives. But for some reason this can't be done. Many decide to start a new life after a divorce, hoping for a brighter future.
Bad habits. Very often our lives are spoiled by bad habits. For example, a person likes to drink. It seems to be nothing of the sort, but when alcohol causes uncontrollable behavior and unpredictable consequences, changes are vital for an addicted person.
Serious illnesses. There is nothing worse than feeling vulnerable to illness. When a person becomes seriously ill, he begins to take a different attitude to life. All the troubles that happened before seem insignificant. A person can be hard to endure not only his illness, but also the troubles of people close to him.
Overweight problems. Overweight people are often dissatisfied with their body and the state of affairs. They understand that something needs to be changed, because their personal life, state of health, degree of self-esteem, etc. depend on it.

How to start a new life

The hardest thing about anything is taking the first step. Many people who decide to start their lives from scratch have chaos in their thoughts. They understand that something needs to be changed, but do not know where to start.

We have compiled a few tips that will not let you get confused at the first stage of change.

Finish all previously started cases. Do not start a new life with unresolved issues. For example, your ex-boyfriend still calls, talks about his problems and wants to renew the relationship. If this communication is unpleasant and uncomfortable for you, take courage and express your opinion about the current situation. Let the person go and start a new life.
Get rid of unnecessary things and garbage. It is believed that if you have not used a thing for a year, then it will no longer be useful to you. Clean up around you.
forget the past. The past will forever remain in the past. If you decide to change jobs and take the first steps, don't look back, don't think that maybe you made a mistake. You are starting a new period of life, and the previous one has already passed.
Say goodbye to the present. Try to live tomorrow. Make plans, think about the fact that a happier period of life awaits you ahead.
Determine for yourself a clear. For example, if you want to become a financially independent person, then you don’t need to immediately dream of a millionth fortune. Try to identify a real dream. After reaching it, you can always set a higher bar.
Motivate yourself. Depending on the goal, you need to consider what methods of motivation you will use. For example, you are dissatisfied with your appearance due to being overweight. In this case, you can hang photos of models throughout the apartment, their bodies will stimulate you to play sports and eat right.
Keep a positive attitude. People start a new life with an optimistic outlook on life. Repeat to yourself several times a day the phrase "I am strong, I can do anything." After a while, you will believe in yourself, and any problems will be on your shoulder.
Decide what you want to change. Write, draw, speak out loud.
Visualize your dream. Imagine how you would like to live in 5-10 years. Many people with a clear vision of the future achieve their dreams in reality.
Believe in yourself and your strengths. If you do not have faith that you are realizing your plan, then others will not believe in it. It is impossible to achieve anything without believing in yourself.

How to change your life. active phase

After you have mentally said goodbye to your past life and continue to look to the future with optimism, you need to move on to the active phase.

If you decide to change jobs, start going to interviews, looking for suitable vacancies. If the cause of changes in life is excess weight, then sign up for a gym today and move on to proper nutrition.

In addition, use the following tips to help you quickly quit, move away and start your life over again.

In order to change life for the better, you need to act today. We have compiled a rough daily routine and the necessary rituals that will help you feel like a new person.

Wake up earlier than usual . The alarm can be set just a few minutes earlier, but nevertheless it will already bring innovation to your life.
Go for a run or exercise . Physical activity not only has a beneficial effect on the body, tempers the spirit, but also improves mood.
Take a contrast shower . Thanks to him, you will improve your body, cheer up well and finally wake up.
Now you can take a few minutes to meditate . After charging, your body finally woke up, but now you need to adjust your mind in the right way. Meditation is the best way to do this.
Have a good breakfast .

After all the procedures done, you will surely have a great mood, which will need to be maintained throughout the day.

Go to work, and do not forget to smile at everyone, even strangers. After a while, you will notice that the people around you also radiate joy.
In the process of work and leisure, try to communicate with people - "lighters" who will ignite your enthusiasm to conquer new heights.
At the end of the day, find time for self-development. You can read books, watch educational programs, listen to an audiobook, study foreign languages, etc.

How do changes occur in different periods of life

In different periods of life, people's values are different.

A 20-year-old person tolerates change more easily, tends to think less and act more.
People in their 30s are more thoughtful about trying to start a new life. It is at this age that a person seeks to find himself. During this period, the desire to change the specialty and place of residence falls.
Starting a new life at 40 is harder. People do not change the existing way of life so often, but during this period there is an active reassessment of values. For most parents, children have grown up and do not require their custody. Therefore, people at this age begin to pay more attention to themselves.
At 50, women feel that they are still young, and their future depends only on themselves. They change themselves, make adjustments in their lives. It is often at this age that people find their soul mates and begin to live for their own pleasure.

No matter how old you are, if you decide to change your life and start from scratch, we advise:

Look to the future with optimism;
Don't be afraid of change;
Change yourself and your environment;
Find a new hobby;
Set a goal for yourself and develop an algorithm for achieving it;
Change your attitude towards life.

Advice from psychologists that will inspire action

If you turn to a psychologist with the question, "How to start a new life and change yourself?", Most likely you will be asked to do some exercises. Now we will analyze them in detail.

Wish collage. Take a piece of paper (it is better if it is at least A3 paper) and a few women's magazines. Make a list of your wishes. Cut out pictures from magazines that fit your desires in terms of subject matter and stick them on the poster. Put your poster in a visible place. You must see him constantly. As your desires come true (and they will certainly begin to come true), cross them out. Thanks to the collage, you will not forget about your goals.
Say goodbye to bad qualities. Think about what negative qualities you are endowed with. It can be envy, laziness, fear of change, etc. Write them all down on a piece of paper and set it on fire. Now take the ashes and scatter them into the wind. At the same time, mentally imagine that you got rid of these qualities, and they will never return to you.
Making a summary of life. Often, when a person seeks to start everything from scratch, he is disappointed in the past years, falls into depression. It seems to him that part of his life is lived in vain. But it is not always the case. Take a piece of paper and write down the joyful events of the past years, your achievements or successes. For example, you got a college education, achieved recognition and respect at work, became parents, traveled and saw the world, etc. There is no need to perceive the past as the worst part of your life. It's just a passed stage, behind which a happy future opens. Article

Assya

Hello, my name is Asya, I'm 36, not married. Life circumstances were such that I was left alone. Absolutely! No friends, no loved one, no family, no job (no experience in any field either). The life stage has been passed, it is necessary to start everything from scratch. Somehow solve the issue of work (this is the main issue, there will simply be nothing to live from day to day), to do this, at least force myself to move ... But I can’t force myself, my hands drop ... I find a thousand reasons, to delay... Time is running out. No motivation, no desire, nothing. There is no guide in which direction to move, where exactly to start ... There is no one to help.

Assya, good day!
Tell us more about yourself, a psychologist may be useful :)

What is the current situation with work?
How long have you been in this situation?
What do you need to start moving?
Who or what do you need it for?
What do you enjoy doing?

Assya

Good ... What to tell? I was born, studied, worked in various fields - unofficially, this experience cannot be applied anywhere now, either it is already outdated or liquidated. I was at home for 11 years ... I’m not a very sociable person anyway, but in general I became isolated, I became very scared to communicate with people, ask something, ask, find out - it’s better to shoot ... Last year, a neighbor called me to try to work, working with people... Every day I broke myself, forced me to go and communicate. It's just stupid to go and do it ... After 3 months, the discomfort from communication practically disappeared. Then I left work, due to family reasons, I just physically couldn’t (my mother was sick). Time has passed, I feel that my fear is returning again ... Relations with the person with whom we have lived all this time have come to naught. I do not regret it, strangers for a long time ... I have no problems with this. It's just that I'm financially dependent on this person ... Now the last threads of our relationship are breaking ... The question arose - how to live on? And I don't know what to do, where to start? I'm afraid that the situation will soon become critical, I don't even understand how I can cope with it ... There are thoughts that maybe I won't have enough strength. But I understand with my head that this is not an option ... My mother will not live without me, she is a sensitive person. I have animals that also depend on me...

Assya

My mother and father divorced when I was 7 years old. The father is no longer alive. I have an excellent relationship with my mother, but she is a sensitive person, so I “protect” her, I don’t tell everything. What do I like to do? - Walk and draw.

The last questions from me, the psychologist will continue.
What are you drawing? Is there an attractive style?
When do you usually draw? Does this require a special mood? Or events taking place "push" to art?
Does your mood change after drawing?

Assya

I draw mostly in Photoshop, I like fairy tales. I create almost every day, it's very distracting. Of course, after the end of work, the mood improves, but not for long. The process itself brings more satisfaction.

Assya, Asya, good afternoon, a sad story ...
But I saw one inconsistency with reality.
Here you first write that

The life stage has been passed, it is necessary to start everything from scratch.

And then describe your experience

I was born, studied, worked in different areas... Last year, a neighbor invited me to try to work, work with people... Every day I broke myself, forced me to go and communicate. It's just stupid to go and do...

That is, you have work experience, you have experience of overcoming yourself in a difficult situation (apparently, you still have willpower)

With the person with whom we lived all this time, the relationship came to naught. I do not regret it, strangers for a long time ... I have no problems with this.

I have relationship experience. Yes, sad, but experience. There is an experience of ending these relationships. It seems to be successful too.

My mother can't live without me, she's a sensitive person. I have animals that also depend on me...

You have built a relationship with your mother, you take care of animals.

I draw mostly in Photoshop, I like fairy tales. I create almost every day, it's very distracting.

You know photoshop and you manage your condition, you know how to distract yourself.

What I have listed is quite a real and serious achievement. So you don't start from scratch, but from the foundation you already have.
Surely there are other achievements in your life that you forgot to mention.

Assya

Everything is wonderful, but you can’t cook porridge with this baggage. Naturally, having lived half a life, there is still some experience. Is the problem in the literalness of my statements? There may be willpower, but there is no incentive ... Orientation too.

Naturally, having lived half a life, there is still some experience.

Here is where you can start moving forward.
I didn't just pay attention to it. It's much easier to move forward from a two or three than from zero. Yes, you are absolutely right that you cannot cook porridge with this baggage. To do this, you need to take more steps. And before you take steps, you need to understand where you want to go.

So where do you want to go? What do you want to do? I'm not asking about abilities and skills yet, I'm talking about desires, just for orientation. What is close to your life in general?

Assya

My God, I don’t even know ... I want to start a family (probably so as not to be alone and for some certainty that you won’t die alone). Small children do not touch me. In general, I like animals more than people. In terms of implementation, there are no clear ideas. I like the design, graphics and really want to be useful. I don’t even know what kind of thing it is, where I feel in “my” place. Where to come?.. Probably to the standard template - family, children, home, work... And there are already other problems and concerns... Although I'm not entirely sure that I need it - it will all knock me out of my comfort zone. Or maybe I'll like it and get involved ...

It is clear, that is, there is nowhere to go yet too (((
Let's start with what is and what needs to be done in the near future. What job options do you currently have? What are the earning opportunities?

I really like what you are doing.

I draw mostly in Photoshop, I like fairy tales. I create almost every day, it's very distracting. Of course, after the end of work, the mood improves, but not for long. The process itself brings more satisfaction ....
I like the design, graphics and really want to be useful....

Usually what a person does for the soul, what he likes - this is his vocation and his potential life work. Would you like to develop in this direction? Or what do you like to do in life?

Assya

Options are freelancing, but this is not making money ... In principle, I can work in any field of design (only I don’t have skills and experience), the main thing is to create ...
In life ... I don’t even know, he can travel.

freelancing, but it's not making money...

Here I partly agree with you, because in order to make it an income, you need a high professional level and clients. This is not done in one moment. You need education and skills, you are absolutely right. But still, in the potential it is quite possible to make it the main way of earning, especially since for you

it's important to create...

That is exactly what gives you joy and pleasure.

In life ... I don’t even know, he can travel.

It can also be a very real goal, or at least a direction in life.

Why did I ask about this - because just going to work every day and earning "for survival" is of course not a thing, it's boring and uninteresting. But if you look on the Internet for some training courses and spend part of the money on them and save for travel, then this is a little more inspiring.

But you have not answered the question what options for earning do you now have? I mean real, achievable options. So you can just pick up and go to the interview. So that in addition to long-term plans, you still have money to live on?

Assya

It's like in a joke - I can dig, I can not dig ... What I will be taught at work, I will do. No, there are no real options. To get a job - you need connections, I don't have them. Theoretically, you can go to a low-paid job (waiter, operator, technician, etc.), but I'm not 20 years old ... And this is somehow completely, I will fall into a hole from which you may not get out. I understand that in this situation there is no one to blame but myself, and I can’t pretend to be something “decent”. I do not know what to do...
I feel that I have finally dropped out of life ... I do not see a single area of my life that would suit me.

It's like in a joke - I can dig, I can not dig ...

A very correct position :) The truth is, it is - you can blame yourself, you can not blame, you can fall out of life, or you can not fall out. All in your hands. There is nothing to do anyway. It is what it is. You can start sculpting something out of this, or you can just sit and lament and devalue everything that is in the end.

What's wrong with learning? I know that in some companies, on the contrary, this is a big plus. This means that you do not have habitual thought patterns.
Connections also do not play a role everywhere. It's who you run into.

You can try to get a temporary job, just to start feeling a little bit in the team again. And it will be visible there.

How often one hears from people that they are not satisfied with their lives, that if at a certain time at some turning point they had made a different decision, then their life would have turned out differently (always much more successful). But now, due to age or circumstances, they can no longer change anything. But if life does not suit you so much that nothing brings joy, sooner or later the question will still arise - how to start life from scratch.

What needs to be considered?

A huge number of coaches say that you need to get out of your comfort zone and expand your consciousness in order to reach a new level. People, tired of the routine and succumbing to emotions, blindly follow the instructions, expecting miracles. Is everything so simple and cloudless?

Of course, there are many examples of how people have changed their lives for the better. But we should not forget that no less number lost even what they had. A necessary condition in order to cross out everything and start from scratch is the full realization that the current situation does not suit you completely, and that you will not regret anything. You are always responsible for your life. Now you will not be able to say that someone else is to blame for the fact that your life is not going the way you would like.

You must understand that changing your habits is not easy, but it is possible if you have the willpower.

To start life anew, something else is needed - a change in one's consciousness, attitude towards oneself, people, situations.

For example, if a woman decides to leave a husband who does not respect her, then there is no guarantee that the next man in her life will not behave the same way. If she does not respect herself, is the initiator of conflict situations, or, on the contrary, tolerates what she should not tolerate, it is likely that she will have to go through the same thing in the second circle.

Therefore, the beginning of a new and happy life should be preceded by a deep analysis of what you have today, a study of the reasons that led to situations that do not suit you. It is a change in thinking, avoidance of past mistakes that will help to reach a new level.

You must understand that Moscow was not built right away, and be prepared that there will be difficulties on your way. Most likely, the most serious of them can be calculated already now. Think about how you will solve problems. Once you find a solution, implement it right away.

Filter all the information that comes to you from friends and acquaintances. Everyone has their own vision of the situation, but even if a person advises you with the best of intentions, it is not a fact that he himself would do as he says.

Regardless of which area of your new life you decide to focus on, give up bad habits. It's always a plus. In addition to smoking and the habit of putting off important things, there is another bad habit that you must get rid of. This is negative thinking, pessimism, tediousness, bullshit hype. There should be no illusions, but at the same time, you must understand that almost any problem has a solution.

Instead, develop a good habit of being alone with yourself. This is not necessary for work or drawing up the next plan, but for you to learn to feel and hear yourself. This will help you avoid many mistakes and wrong decisions, realize the need for further changes in time, and determine the right direction for your growth.

Make sure that nothing connects you with the old life. For example, if you decide to quit, then finish all projects, leave your husband - get divorced, if you have common children - work on yourself so that meetings with your ex-husband do not bring dissonance into your peace of mind.

You can literally start your life from scratch. Put a sheet of paper in front of you and write or draw whatever you would like to see on it. It can be your dreams of a home or travel, and your new circle of friends, and those character traits that you would like to develop in yourself. Then write down what you have today and what steps you need to take to get what you want. Here it is necessary to assess the situation as realistically as possible. It is also better to describe everything in as much detail as possible - so you will understand that nothing is impossible, and even small steps can lead to a big goal. Most often, people are held in place by the fear of change, while few people think that it is much worse if everything remains the same.

Decide on your goals. Most likely, you had them, but often people who have come to the need to change their lives change them too. The goal is your motivator. The more global and desirable it is, the more effort you will put in.

Oddly enough, most people live without such a goal. Therefore, it is not surprising that their life does not suit them. If goals persist, think about new ways you can achieve them.

Count your failed attempts and don't try to get the same thing in the same way a million times. If it didn’t work out, analyze the reasons, change strategies, be flexible. Life is a series of attempts, not all of them end successfully, and this is normal. The main thing is your conclusions.

If you are planning a new life, discard the "I have to" formula. You crave change that will bring you pleasure, and not make a list of duties for the next five years.

When to start?

Get started today and right now. There is no need to put off changes while continuing to live a life that is not your own. After all, life cannot be paused - it will still go on, regardless of whether you take the first step today or not. But do everything wisely. If you want to change your profession, go to courses, read professional literature.

No one is forcing you to quit your job today in order to think tomorrow where to get money for a piece of bread. But there is no need to postpone changes to Monday, January 1, the next birthday. Think about what you can do right now and just do it. You will have to understand that movement is now your new habit if you really want to change anything.

Olga, Sevastopol

Psychologist's comment:

I like the idea in this article that change should be approached consciously and gradually. Yes, cutting sharply from the shoulder, not fully realizing what you want and what you are running from, is not the most reasonable decision.

It is important to understand what exactly you want. However, the idea that if you don’t like something, you need to change it right away, in some situations it can be a rather dangerous delusion. I'll explain why. The fact is that when we experience discomfort and some unpleasant feelings, naturally, we immediately want to change it. And often this is actually the right decision. Now the idea has become quite popular that if you don’t like something, you need to quickly change something, do it, achieve success no matter what. However, there is one omission here.

Sometimes it also happens that you don’t need to urgently change something, but give yourself time to live the situation and come to terms with something. Often, problems often begin just with the fact that we want to change something that we just need to give credit for, that it was in our life, and accept it.

A fairly popular example is the story of our parents and our resentment towards them, and the desire to prove something to our parents, in which they were wrong or did not give us enough. But in fact, in such a situation, it would be much more appropriate and useful for us to live through these feelings - disappointment, grief, resentment, and accept that it was so. And then, from this point, look for what we need now, what we can do for ourselves, and not by remaking or trying to change already aged parents.

The article also mentions our responsibility for our lives. And in that situation when we want to “cross out everything and start life from scratch”, we forget that in “that” former life that we don’t like, we were also responsible for the quality of such a life, no matter how we wanted to admit.

We are not talking here about the fact that we may have lacked something in childhood, but we are already talking about our adult life, when decisions are made by us, and not by our parents. And even when we don’t like our life, it’s worth thinking: how did it happen that I live such a life?

Perhaps you want to change something, and if you have desires and dreams, that's great. But it is also important to understand that in the past you made those choices, made those decisions - exactly those that you could at that time. As much as possible for yourself and the best.

The idea that somewhere and at some time better decisions were possible that would lead you to a better life, very much poisons both our present reality and our self-esteem.

I really want to sometimes think that there is some kind of correct and ideal life in which everything can be done and chosen as correctly as possible, and then "everything will be fine." But it is important to understand that at that moment you could and chose for yourself exactly what was best for you at that moment. And these “mistakes” somehow led you to some experience, to understanding some things that are important to you.

And it is this experience that makes you who you are - and this is your uniqueness, in which there is no place for patterns and standards of "correctness", but there is a place for real life, and sadness, and joy, and desires, and longing for something unrealizable . And this is a huge resource!

And, already from this point, the point of accepting one's past, the point of realizing one's present, it is possible to move forward (and not "from" the past).

In this context, of course, it is important to give yourself time to be alone with yourself - with your thoughts, feelings, feel your body, emotions, desires. And then pick up a blank sheet and write out everything that you would like to put into practice. While giving yourself the right to make mistakes, of course, because it is from them that new opportunities, new experience and new meanings are often born!