Read the book Urfene Deuce and His Wooden Soldiers online. "Urfene Deuce and his wooden soldiers" Wooden soldiers of Urfene Deuce read online

Emerald City - 2

PART ONE

MIRACLE POWDER

LONELY CARRIER

Somewhere in the depths of the vast North American continent, surrounded by a vast desert and a ring of inaccessible mountains, lay the Magic Land. Good and evil fairies lived there, animals and birds talked there, it was summer all year round, and under the ever-hot sun, unprecedented fruits grew on the trees.

The southwest of the Magic Land was inhabited by munchkins - timid and sweet little people, whose adult man was no taller than an eight-year-old boy from those lands where people do not know miracles.

The ruler of the Blue Country of Munchkins was Gingema, an evil sorceress who lived in a deep dark cave, which the munchkins were afraid to approach. But to everyone’s surprise, there was a man who built himself a house not far from the witch’s home. It was a certain Oorfene Deuce.

Even in childhood, Urfin differed from his kind, soft-hearted fellow tribesmen by his grumpy character. He rarely played with the guys, and if he did play, he demanded that everyone obey him. And usually the game with his participation ended in a fight.

Urfin's parents died early, and the boy was taken as an apprentice by a carpenter who lived in the village of Kogida. Growing up, Urfin became more and more quarrelsome, and when he learned carpentry, he left his teacher without regret, without even thanking him for his care. However, a kind craftsman gave him the tools and everything he needed to get started.

Urfin became a skilled carpenter; he made tables, benches, agricultural implements and much more. But oddly enough, the master’s angry and grumpy character was transmitted to his products. The pitchforks he made tried to butt its owner in the side, the shovels hit him on the forehead, the rakes tried to catch his legs and overturn him. Oorfene Deuce has lost his customers.

He started making toys. But the hares, bears and deer he carved had such fierce faces that children, looking at them, were frightened and then cried all night. The toys were collecting dust in Urfin's closet; no one was buying them.

Oorfene Deuce became very angry, abandoned his craft and stopped showing up in the village. He began to live from the fruits of his garden

The lonely carpenter hated his relatives so much that he tried not to be like them in anything. Munchkins lived in round blue houses with pointed roofs and crystal balls on top. Oorfene Deuce built himself a quadrangular house, painted it brown, and planted a stuffed eagle on the roof of the house.

Munchkins wore blue caftans and blue boots, while Urfin's caftan and boots were green. Munchkins had pointed hats with wide brims, and silver bells dangled under the brims. Oorfene Deuce hated bells and wore a brimless hat. The soft-hearted munchkins cried at every opportunity, and no one ever shed a tear in Oorfene’s gloomy eyes.

Several years have passed. One day, Oorfene Deuce came to Gingema and asked the old sorceress to take him into her service. The evil sorceress was very happy - for centuries, not a single munchkin volunteered to serve Gingema, and all her orders were carried out only under the threat of punishment. Now the sorceress had an assistant who willingly carried out all sorts of tasks. And the more unpleasant Gingema’s orders were for the munchkins, the more zealously Oorfene conveyed them to the munchkins.

The gloomy carpenter especially liked to go to the villages of the Blue Country and impose tribute on the inhabitants - so many snakes, mice, frogs, leeches and spiders.

Munchkins were terribly afraid of snakes, spiders and leeches. Having received the order to collect them, the little timid people began to sob. At the same time, they took off their hats and placed them on the ground so that the ringing of the bells would not interfere with their crying. And Oorfene looked at the tears of his relatives and laughed evilly.

Alexander Melentyevich Volkov

Oorfene Deuce and his wooden soldiers

Part one

Miracle Powder

Lonely carpenter

The southwest of the Magic Land was inhabited by Munchkins - timid and sweet little people, whose adult man was no taller than an eight-year-old boy from those lands where people do not know miracles.

The ruler of the Blue Country of Munchkins was Gingema, an evil sorceress who lived in a deep dark cave, which the Munchkins were afraid to approach. But among them, to everyone’s surprise, there was a man who built himself a house not far from the witch’s home. It was a certain Oorfene Deuce.

Even in childhood, Urfin differed from his kind, kind-hearted fellow tribesmen by his grumpy character. He rarely played with the guys, and if he entered the game, he demanded that everyone obey him. And usually the game with his participation ended in a fight.

Urfin's parents died early, and the boy was taken as an apprentice by a carpenter who lived in the village of Kogida. Growing up, Oorfene became more and more quarrelsome, and when he learned carpentry, he left his teacher without regret, without even thanking him for his science. However, a kind craftsman gave him the tools and everything he needed to get started.

Urfin became a skilled carpenter; he made tables, benches, agricultural implements and much more. But, oddly enough, the master’s angry and grumpy character was transmitted to his products. The pitchforks he made tried to butt their owner in the side, the shovels hit him on the forehead, the rakes tried to catch his legs and knock him over.

Oorfene Deuce has lost his customers.

He started making toys. But the hares, bears and deer he carved had such fierce muzzles that the children, looking at them, were frightened and then cried all night. The toys were collecting dust in Urfin's closet; no one was buying them.

Oorfene Deuce got angry, abandoned his usual craft and stopped showing up in the village. He began to live from the fruits of his garden.

The lonely carpenter hated his relatives so much that he tried not to be like them in any way. Munchkins lived in round blue houses with pointed roofs and crystal balls on top. Oorfene Deuce built himself a quadrangular house, painted it brown, and planted a stuffed eagle on the roof.

Munchkins wore blue caftans and blue boots, while Urfin's caftan and boots were green. Munchkins had pointed hats with wide brims, and silver bells dangled under the brim. Oorfene Deuce hated bells and wore a brimless hat. The soft-hearted Munchkins cried at every opportunity, and no one had ever seen a tear in Oorfene’s gloomy eyes.

Munchkins got their nickname because their jaws constantly move, as if chewing something. Deuce also had this habit, but he, although with great difficulty, got rid of it. Oorfene spent hours looking in the mirror and at the first attempt of his jaws to start chewing, he immediately stopped them.

Yes, this man had great willpower, but, unfortunately, he directed it not for good, but for evil.

* * *

Several years have passed. One day, Oorfene Deuce came to Gingema and asked the old sorceress to take him into her service. The evil sorceress was very happy: for centuries, not a single Munchkin volunteered to serve Gingema, and all her orders were carried out only under the threat of punishment. Now the sorceress had an assistant who willingly carried out all sorts of tasks. And the more unpleasant Gingema’s orders were for the Munchkins, the more zealously Oorfene conveyed them. The gloomy carpenter especially liked to walk through the villages of the Blue Country and impose tribute on the inhabitants - so many snakes, mice, frogs, leeches and spiders.

Munchkins were terribly afraid of snakes, spiders and leeches. Having received the order to collect them, the little timid people began to sob. At the same time, they took off their hats and placed them on the ground so that the ringing of the bells would not interfere with their crying. And Oorfene looked at the tears of his relatives and laughed evilly. Then, on the appointed day, he appeared with large baskets, collected tribute and took it to Gingema’s cave. There this good either went to the witch's food or was used for evil magic.

On the day when Ellie’s house was crushed by Gingema, Oorfene was not with the sorceress: he went on her business to a remote part of the Blue Country. The news of the death of the sorceress caused Deuce both grief and joy. He regretted that he had lost his powerful patroness, but now hoped to take advantage of the wealth and power of the sorceress.

The area around the cave was deserted. Ellie and Totoshka went to the Emerald City.

Deuce had the idea to settle in a cave and declare himself the successor of Gingema and the ruler of the Blue Country - after all, the timid Munchkins would not be able to resist this.

But the smoky cave with bundles of smoked mice on nails, with a stuffed crocodile under the ceiling and other paraphernalia of the magical craft looked so damp and gloomy that even Oorfene shuddered.

“Brr!..” he muttered. - To live in this grave?.. No, I humbly thank you!

Oorfene began to look for the witch's silver shoes, because he knew that Gingema valued them most of all. But in vain he searched the cave; there were no shoes.

- Wow-wow-wow! - came mockingly from a high perch, and Oorfene shuddered.

The eyes of an eagle owl looked down at him, glowing yellow in the darkness of the cave.

– Is that you, Guam?

“Not Guam, but Guamocolatokint,” the vain owl objected grumpily.

-Where are the other eagle owls?

- They flew away.

-Why did you stay?

-What should I do in the forest? Catching birds like simple eagle owls and owls? Fi!.. I'm too old and wise for such a troublesome task.

Deuce had a cunning thought.

- Listen, Guam... - The owl was silent... - Guamoko... - Silence. - Guamocolatokint!

“I’m listening to you,” the owl responded.

– Do you want to live with me? I will feed you mice and tender chicks.

- Not for nothing, of course? - muttered the wise bird.

- People, seeing that you serve me, will consider me a wizard.

“It’s not a bad idea,” said the owl. “And to begin my service, I will say that you are looking in vain for the silver slippers.” They were carried away by a small animal of a breed unknown to me.

Having looked at Oorfene vigilantly, the owl asked:

– When will you start eating frogs and leeches?

- What? - Urfin was surprised. - Are there any leeches? For what?

- Because this food is reserved for evil wizards by law. Do you remember how conscientiously Gingema ate mice and snacked on leeches?

Oorfene remembered and shuddered: the food of the old sorceress always disgusted him, and during Gingema’s breakfasts and lunches he would leave the cave under some pretext.

Alexander Volkov

Oorfene Deuce and his wooden soldiers

PART ONE

MIRACLE POWDER

LONELY CARRIER

Somewhere in the depths of the vast North American continent, surrounded by a vast desert and a ring of inaccessible mountains, lay the Magic Land. Good and evil fairies lived there, animals and birds talked there, it was summer all year round, and under the ever-hot sun, unprecedented fruits grew on the trees.

The southwest of the Magic Land was inhabited by munchkins - timid and sweet little people, whose adult man was no taller than an eight-year-old boy from those lands where people do not know miracles.

The ruler of the Blue Country of Munchkins was Gingema, an evil sorceress who lived in a deep dark cave, which the munchkins were afraid to approach. But to everyone’s surprise, there was a man who built himself a house not far from the witch’s home. It was a certain Oorfene Deuce.

Even in childhood, Urfin differed from his kind, soft-hearted fellow tribesmen by his grumpy character. He rarely played with the guys, and if he did play, he demanded that everyone obey him. And usually the game with his participation ended in a fight.

Urfin's parents died early, and the boy was taken as an apprentice by a carpenter who lived in the village of Kogida. Growing up, Urfin became more and more quarrelsome, and when he learned carpentry, he left his teacher without regret, without even thanking him for his care. However, a kind craftsman gave him the tools and everything he needed to get started.

Urfin became a skilled carpenter; he made tables, benches, agricultural implements and much more. But oddly enough, the master’s angry and grumpy character was transmitted to his products. The pitchforks he made tried to butt its owner in the side, the shovels hit him on the forehead, the rakes tried to catch his legs and overturn him. Oorfene Deuce has lost his customers.

He started making toys. But the hares, bears and deer he carved had such fierce faces that children, looking at them, were frightened and then cried all night. The toys were collecting dust in Urfin's closet; no one was buying them.

Oorfene Deuce became very angry, abandoned his craft and stopped showing up in the village. He began to live from the fruits of his garden

The lonely carpenter hated his relatives so much that he tried not to be like them in anything. Munchkins lived in round blue houses with pointed roofs and crystal balls on top. Oorfene Deuce built himself a quadrangular house, painted it brown, and planted a stuffed eagle on the roof of the house.

Munchkins wore blue caftans and blue boots, while Urfin's caftan and boots were green. Munchkins had pointed hats with wide brims, and silver bells dangled under the brims. Oorfene Deuce hated bells and wore a brimless hat. The soft-hearted munchkins cried at every opportunity, and no one ever shed a tear in Oorfene’s gloomy eyes.

Several years have passed. One day, Oorfene Deuce came to Gingema and asked the old sorceress to take him into her service. The evil sorceress was very happy - for centuries, not a single munchkin volunteered to serve Gingema, and all her orders were carried out only under the threat of punishment. Now the sorceress had an assistant who willingly carried out all sorts of tasks. And the more unpleasant Gingema’s orders were for the munchkins, the more zealously Oorfene conveyed them to the munchkins.

The gloomy carpenter especially liked to go to the villages of the Blue Country and impose tribute on the inhabitants - so many snakes, mice, frogs, leeches and spiders.

Munchkins were terribly afraid of snakes, spiders and leeches. Having received the order to collect them, the little timid people began to sob. At the same time, they took off their hats and placed them on the ground so that the ringing of the bells would not interfere with their crying. And Oorfene looked at the tears of his relatives and laughed evilly. Then, on the appointed day, he appeared with large baskets, collected tribute and took it to Gingema’s cave. There, this good either went as food for the witch, or was used for evil magic...

One day, the evil Gingema, who hated the entire human race, decided to destroy it. To do this, she conjured a monstrous hurricane and sent it over the mountains, over the desert, so that it would destroy all the cities, all the villages and bury people under their rubble

But this did not happen. In the north-west of the Magic Land lived the good sorceress Villina. She learned about Gingema's insidious plan and neutralized it. Villina allowed the hurricane to capture only one small house-van in the Kansas steppe, removed from its wheels and placed on the ground. By order of Villina, a whirlwind brought the house to the country of the munchkins, dropped it on Gingema’s head and the evil sorceress died.

To the surprise of Villina, who came to see how her magic worked, a little girl Ellie was in the house. She ran after her beloved dog Totoshka into the house just before the whirlwind picked him up and carried him away.

Villina could not return the girl home and advised her to go for help to the Emerald City - the center of the Magic Land. There were all sorts of rumors about the ruler of the Emerald City, Goodwin, the great and terrible. Rumor claimed that it would cost Goodwin nothing to send down fiery rain on the fields or fill all the houses with rats and toads. And therefore they talked about Goodwin in a whisper and with caution, in case the wizard was offended by some careless word.

Ellie listened to the good fairy and went to Goodwin in the hope that the wizard is not as scary as they say about him, and he will help her return to Kansas. The girl did not have to meet the gloomy carpenter Oorfene Deuce.

On the day when Ellie’s house was crushed by Gingema, Oorfene was not with the sorceress: he went on her business to a remote part of the Blue Country. The news of the death of the sorceress caused Deuce both grief and joy. He regretted that he had lost his powerful patroness, but now hoped to take advantage of the wealth and power of the sorceress.

The area around the cave was deserted. Ellie and Totoshka went to the Emerald City.

Deuce had the idea to settle in a cave and declare himself the successor of Gingema and the ruler of the Blue Country.

After all, timid chewers will not be able to resist this.

But the smoky cave with bundles of smoked mice on nails, with a stuffed crocodile under the ceiling and other paraphernalia of the magical craft looked so damp and gloomy that Oorfene shuddered.

Brr!.. - he muttered. -Live in this grave? No, thank you very much!

Oorfene began to look for the witch's silver shoes, since he knew that Gingema valued them most.

But in vain he searched the cave; there were no shoes.

Wow-wow-wow! - came mockingly from the high platform, and Oorfene shuddered.

The eyes of an eagle owl looked down at him, glowing yellow in the darkness of the cave.

Is that you, Guam?

Not Guam, but Guamocolatokint,” the eagle owl objected grumpily.

Where are the other eagle owls?

They flew away.

Why did you stay?

What should I do in the forest? Catching birds like simple eagle owls and owls? Fi!.. I'm too old and wise for such a troublesome task.

Deuce had a cunning thought.

Listen, Guam.. - The owl was silent. - Guamoco. - Silence. - Guamocolatokint!

“I’m listening to you,” the owl responded.

Do you want to live with me? I will feed you mice and tender chicks.

Not for nothing, of course? - muttered the wise bird.

People, seeing that you serve me, will consider me a wizard.

“It’s not a bad idea,” said the owl. - And to begin my service, I will say that you are looking in vain for the silver shoes, they were carried away by a small animal of a breed unknown to me.

Having looked at Oorfene vigilantly, the owl asked:

When will you start eating frogs and leeches?

What? - Urfin was surprised. - Are there any leeches? For what?

Because this food is reserved for evil wizards by law - remember how conscientiously Gingema ate mice and snacked on leeches?

Oorfene remembered and shuddered; the food of the old sorceress always disgusted him, and during Gingema’s breakfasts and lunches he would leave the cave under some pretext.

Listen, Guamoco... Guamocolatocnite? - he said ingratiatingly, - is it possible to do without this?

With a sigh, Oorfene collected some of the witch's property, put the owl on his shoulder and went home.

The munchkins we met, seeing the gloomy Urfin, scared away to the side.

Returning to his place, Oorfene lived in his house with an owl, not meeting people, not loving anyone, not being loved by anyone.

AN EXTRAORDINARY PLANT

One evening a strong storm broke out. Thinking that this storm was caused by the evil Oorfene Deuce, the munchkins cowered in fear and expected that their houses were about to collapse.

But nothing like that happened. But, getting up in the morning and examining the garden, Oorfene Deuce saw several bright green sprouts of an unusual appearance in the garden bed. Obviously, their seeds were carried into the garden by a hurricane. But what part of the country they came from has forever remained a mystery.

“It’s been a while since I’ve been weeding the beds,” grumbled Oorfene Deuce. - And now these weeds are creeping up again. Well, just wait, I'll deal with you in the evening.

Oorfene went into the forest, where he had snares set, and spent the whole day there. Secretly from Guam, he took a frying pan and oil with him, fried a fat rabbit and ate it with pleasure.

Returning home, Deuce gasped in surprise. In the salad bed, powerful, bright green plants with oblong, fleshy leaves rose to the height of a man.

That's the thing! - Urfin cried. “These weeds didn’t waste any time.”

He walked over to the garden bed and tugged at one of the plants to pull it up by the roots. But it was not there. The plant didn’t even give in, and Oorfene Deuce hurt both his hands with small sharp thorns that covered the trunk and leaves.

Oorfene got angry, pulled the thorns out of his palms, put on leather gloves and again began to pull the plant from the garden bed. But he didn't have enough strength. Then Deuce armed himself with an ax and began to chop the plants at the roots.

“Boar, boar, boar,” the ax cut into the succulent stems and the plants fell to the ground.

So so so! - Oorfene Deuce triumphed. He fought the weeds as if they were living enemies.

When the massacre was completed, night fell and the tired Urfin went to bed.

The next morning he went out onto the porch and the hair on his head stood on end in amazement.

And in the salad bed, where the roots of unknown weeds remained, and on the smoothly trampled path, where the carpenter dragged the cut branches - tall plants with bright green fleshy leaves stood everywhere in a dense wall.

Oh, you are! - Oorfene roared angrily and rushed into battle.

The carpenter chopped the cut stems and uprooted roots into small pieces on a block of wood, which was used for chopping firewood. At the end of the garden, behind the trees, there was a vacant lot. There Oorfene Deuce carried the plants chopped into porridge and threw them in all directions in anger.

The work continued all day, but finally the garden was cleared of plant invaders and the tired Oorfene Deuce went to rest. He slept poorly: he was tormented by nightmares, it seemed to him that unknown plants were surrounding him and trying to hurt him with their thorns.

Getting up at dawn, the carpenter first went to the wasteland to see what was going on there. Opening the gate, he quietly gasped and sank helplessly to the ground, shocked by what he saw. The vitality of unfamiliar plants turned out to be extraordinary. The barren land of the wasteland was completely covered with young green growth.

When Urfin the day before, in a rage, scattered green crumbs all around, his splashes fell on fence posts and tree trunks: these splashes took root there and young plants peeked out from there.

Struck by a sudden guess, Urfin threw off his boots. Tiny sprouts grew thickly green on their soles. Sprouts peeked out from the seams of clothes. The log for chopping wood was bristling with shoots. Deuce rushed into the closet: the ax handle was also covered with young growth.

Urfin sat down on the porch and thought. What to do? Should I leave here and live somewhere else? But it’s a pity to leave a comfortable, roomy house and a well-kept garden.

Oorfene went to the owl. He sat on a perch, squinting his eyes from the daylight. Deuce told about his trouble. The eagle owl, rocking on its perch, thought for a long time.

Try frying them in the sun,” he advised after a while.

Oorfene Deuce finely chopped several young shoots, placed them on an iron sheet with curved edges and carried them to an open area under the hot rays of the sun.

Let's see if you can sprout here! - he muttered angrily under his breath. - If you sprout, I will leave these places.

The plants did not germinate. The roots did not have enough strength to penetrate the iron sheet. A few hours later, the hot sun of the Magic Land turned the green mass into brown powder.

After all, it’s not in vain that I feed Guam,” said a satisfied Urfin. - Wise bird...

Having grabbed a wheelbarrow, Deuce went to Kogida to collect iron pans from the housewives on which pies were baked. He returned with a wheelbarrow filled to the brim with baking sheets.

Oorfene shook his fist at his plant enemies:

Now I'll deal with you! - he hissed through clenched teeth.

Hard labor began. Oorfene Deuce worked tirelessly from dawn to dusk, only taking a short break during the day.

He acted very carefully. Having outlined a small area, he carefully cleared it of plants, leaving not the slightest particle. He crushed the plants dug up with roots in an iron basin and laid them out to dry on baking sheets arranged in even rows in a sunny place. Urfin poured the brown powder into iron buckets and covered them with iron lids. Perseverance and perseverance did their job. The carpenter did not give the enemy the slightest loophole.

The area occupied by bright green thorny weeds became smaller every day. And then the moment came when the last bush turned into brown powder.

After a week of work, Deuce was so exhausted that he could barely stand on his feet. Stepping over the threshold, Oorfene stumbled, the bucket tilted and some of the brown powder spilled onto a bear skin lying at the threshold instead of a carpet.

The carpenter did not see this, he removed the last bucket, closed it as usual, trudged to the bed and fell asleep.

He woke up from someone persistently tugging at his arm hanging from the bed. Opening his eyes, Oorfene was numb with horror: a bear was standing by the bed and holding the sleeve of his caftan in its teeth.

“I’m dead,” thought the carpenter. - He will bite me to death... But where did the bear come from in the house? The door was closed..."

Minutes passed, the bear did not show hostile intentions, but only dragged Urfene by the sleeve, and suddenly a hoarse bass voice was heard:

Master! It's time to get up, you've been sleeping too long!

Oorfene Deuce was so amazed that he rolled head over heels from the bed: the bearskin, which had previously been lying on the threshold, was standing on all fours by the carpenter’s bedside and shaking its head.

“This is the skin of my pet bear coming to life. She walks, talks... But why is this? Is it really spilled powder?..”

To check his guess, Urfin turned to the owl:

Guam... Guamoco!..

The owl was silent.

Listen, you impudent bird! - the carpenter yelled fiercely. “I’ve been racking my tongue for quite some time, completely pronouncing your damned name!” If you don’t want to answer, go into the forest and get your own food!

Owl responded conciliatoryly:

Okay, don't get angry! Guamoco, so Guamoco, but I won’t settle for anything less. What did you want to ask me?

Is it true that the vitality of an unknown plant is so great that even its powder revived the skin?

Is it true. I heard about this plant from the wisest of the eagle owls, my great-grandfather Karitophylaxis...

Enough! - Urfin barked. - Shut up! And you, skin, get back to your place, don’t bother me thinking!

The skin obediently moved to the threshold and lay down in its usual place.

That's the thing! - Oorfene Deuce muttered, sitting down at the table and resting his shaggy head in his hands. - The question now is: is this thing useful for me or not?

After much thought, the ambitious carpenter decided that this thing was useful to him, as it gave him greater power over things.

But it was still necessary to check how great the power of the life-giving powder was. On the table stood a stuffed parrot made by Urfin with blue, red and green feathers. The carpenter took out a pinch of brown powder and sprinkled it on the head and back of the stuffed animal.

An amazing thing happened. The powder began to smoke with a slight hiss and began to disappear. Its brown specks seemed to melt, being absorbed into the parrot's skin between the feathers. The stuffed animal moved, raised its head, looked around... The revived parrot flapped its wings and flew out the window with a sharp cry.

It works! - Oorfene Deuce shouted in delight. - It works! What else should I try?

Huge deer antlers were nailed to the wall as decoration, and Urfin generously sprinkled them with life-giving powder.

Let’s see what happens,” the carpenter grinned.

We didn't have to wait very long for the result. Again a light smoke over the horns, the disappearance of the grains... The nails being torn out of the wall crackled, the horns fell to the floor and rushed at Oorfene Deuce with wild fury.

Guard! - the frightened carpenter screamed, running away from the horns.

But with unexpected dexterity they pursued him everywhere: on the bed, on the table and under the table. Bearskin cowered in fear at the closed door.

Master! - she screamed. - Open the door!..

Dodging the blows, Urfin pulled back the bolt and flew out onto the porch. A bear skin rushed behind him with a roar, and then the horns jumped wildly. All this mixed up on the porch into a screaming and tumbling heap and rolled down the steps. And from the house came the mocking hoot of an eagle owl. The horns knocked down the gate and rushed towards the forest in huge leaps. Oorfene Deuce, battered and bruised, rose from the ground.

Damn it! - he groaned, feeling his sides. - This is too much!

The skin said reproachfully:

Don’t you know, master, that now is the time when the deer are terribly pugnacious. It’s also good that you stayed alive... Well, now the deer in the forest will suffer from these antlers! - And the bearskin laughed hoarsely.

From this, Urfin concluded that the powder must be handled carefully and not revive anything. The room was in complete disarray: everything was broken, overturned, the dishes were broken, and the fluff from the torn pillow was swirling in the air.

Deuce angrily said to the owl:

Why didn't you warn me that it is dangerous to animate deer antlers?

The vindictive bird replied:

Guamocolatokint would have warned, but Guamoco didn't have the insight to do so.

Having decided to settle accounts with the owl for his deceit later, Oorfene began to restore order in the room. He picked up the wooden clown he had once made from the floor. The clown had a fierce face and a mouth with bared sharp teeth and therefore no one bought him.

Well, I think you won’t cause as much trouble as the horns,” said Oorfene and sprinkled powder on the clown.

Having done this, he put the toy on the table, and he sat down on a stool nearby and began to daydream. He came to his senses from acute pain: the revived toy sank its teeth into his finger.

And you too, you rubbish! - Oorfene Deuce became furious and threw the clown to the floor with a flourish.

He hobbled to the far corner, hid behind a chest and remained sitting there, shaking his arms, legs and head for his own pleasure.

AMBITIOUS PLANS OF URFEN DJUS

One day, Oorfene sat on the porch and listened to Bearskin and Guamoco quarreling in the house.

You, owl, don’t love your master,” the skin grumbled. - He was deliberately silent when he brought the horns to life, but he knew that it was dangerous. And yet you are cunning, owl, you are still cunning. I saw enough of your brother when I lived in the forest. Just wait, I’ll get to you, then you’ll see...

Wow-wow-wow! - the owl mocked from a high perch. - Well, I scared you, you empty talker!

That I’m empty, that’s true,” the skin admitted sadly. - I’ll ask the owner to fill me with sawdust, otherwise I’m very light on the move, no stability, any breeze will knock me off my feet...

“This is well thought out,” Deuce remarked to himself. “We’ll have to do that.”

Well, you're out of your mind there! Shut up!

The disputants continued to curse in whispers.

Oorfene Deuce was making plans for the future. Of course, he must now take a higher position in the Blue Country. Oorfene knew that after the death of Gingema, the munchkins chose the respected old man Prem Kokus as ruler. Under the leadership of the good Caucus, the munchkins lived easily and freely.

Returning to the house, Oorfene walked around the room. The owl and the bearskin fell silent. Deuce reasoned out loud:

Why are the munchkins ruled by the Prem Caucus? Is he smarter than me? Is he as skilled a craftsman as I am? Does he have the same majestic posture? - Oorfene Deuce stood up proudly, stuck out his chest, and puffed out his cheeks. - No, the Prem Caucus is far from me!

Bearskin obsequiously confirmed:

That's right, master, you look very impressive!

They don’t ask you,” Urfin barked and continued: “Prem Kokus is much richer than me, it’s true: he has large fields where many people work.” But now that I have life-giving powder, I can make myself as many workers as I want, they will clear the forest and I will also have fields... wait!

What if it’s not workers, but soldiers?.. Yes, yes, yes! I will make myself fierce, strong soldiers and then let the munchkins dare not recognize me as their ruler!

Oorfene ran around the room in excitement.

“Even the nasty little clown bit me so hard it still hurts,” he thought. - And if you make wooden people human-sized, teach them to wield weapons. Why, then I’ll be able to measure my strength with Goodwin himself...”

But the carpenter immediately timidly covered his mouth: it seemed to him that he had said these daring words out loud. What if the great and terrible heard them? Oorfene pressed his head into his shoulders and expected that he was about to be struck by a blow from an invisible hand. But everything was calm and Deuce’s soul was relieved.

“Still, we need to be careful,” he thought. - For the first time, I've had enough of the Blue Country. And there... and there..."

But he did not even mentally dare to extend his dreams further.

Oorfene Deuce knew the beauty and wealth of the Emerald City. In his youth he had the opportunity to visit there and the captivating memories have not left him to this day.

Oorfene saw amazing houses there: their upper floors overhung the lower ones and the roofs of opposing houses almost converged over the streets. It was always gloomy and cool on the pavement; the bright rays of the sun did not penetrate there. And in this twilight, where the inhabitants of the city were leisurely strolling, all wearing green glasses, the emeralds, interspersed not only in the walls of the houses, but also between the pavement stones, shone with a mysterious light.

So many treasures! To protect them, the wizard did not maintain a large army - Goodwin's entire army consisted of one single soldier, whose name was Din Gior. However, why did Goodwin need an army if he could incinerate hordes of enemies with just his glance?

Dean Gior had one concern - to take care of his beard. Well, it was a beard! It stretched all the way to the ground and the soldier combed it from morning to evening with a crystal comb, and sometimes braided it like a braid.

On the occasion of the palace holiday, Din Gior showed soldiers' techniques in the square for the amusement of the assembled onlookers. He handled sword, spear and shield so deftly that he delighted the spectators.

When the parade ended, Urfin approached Din Gior and asked him:

Honorable Dean Gior, I cannot help but express my admiration for you. Tell me, where did you study all this wisdom?

The flattered soldier replied:

In the old days, there were often wars in our country, I read about this in the chronicles. I found ancient military manuscripts that tell how commanders taught soldiers, what military techniques were, how orders were given. I studied all this diligently, put it into practice... and here are the results!..

To remember the military techniques of a soldier, Oorfene decided to work with a wooden clown.

Hey clown! - he shouted. - Where are you?

“I’m here, master,” a squeaky voice responded from behind the chest. -Are you going to fight again?

Come out, don't be afraid, I'm not angry with you.

The clown came out of his hiding place.

Now I’ll see what you’re capable of,” said Urfin. - Can you march?

What is this, master?

Call me not master, but master! I’m telling you this too, skin!

Marching means walking, beating a step, turning according to an order to the right, left or in a circle.

The clown turned out to be quite smart and quickly adopted the soldier's science, but he could not take the wooden saber whittled by Deuce. The clown had no fingers, and his hands simply ended in fists.

“My future soldiers will have to make flexible fingers,” Oorfene Deuce decided.

The training continued until the evening. Oorfene was tired of giving orders, but the wooden clown was fresh and cheerful all the time, he showed no signs of fatigue. Of course, this was to be expected: how can a tree get tired?

During the lesson, the bearskin looked at her master with admiration and repeated all his orders in a whisper. And Guamoco narrowed his yellow eyes contemptuously.

Oorfene was delighted. But now he was overcome by an alarming thought: what if his life-giving powder was stolen? He closed the door with three bolts, boarded up the closet where the buckets of powder stood, and still slept restlessly, waking up at every rustle or knock.

It was possible to distribute to the munchkins the iron pans and basins taken from them, which the carpenter no longer needed. Deuce decided to make his new appearance in Kogida solemn. He converted the wheelbarrow into a cart in order to harness the bear skin to it. And then he remembered the overheard conversation between the skin and the owl:

Listen, skin! - he said. “I noticed that you were too light and unstable when moving, so I decided to stuff you with sawdust and shavings.”

Oh, lord, how wise you are! - the simple-minded skin exclaimed in admiration.

Piles of sawdust accumulated in Urfin's barn and the stuffing went quickly. Having finished it, Deuce thought:

That’s it, skin,” he said. - I'll give you a name.

Oh, lord! - the bear skin cried joyfully. - And this name will be as long as that of an eagle owl?

No,” Deuce answered dryly. - On the contrary, it will be short. You will be called Topotun, Topotun bear.

The good-natured bear really liked the new name.

How amazing! - he exclaimed. - I will have the most sonorous name in the Blue Country. To-po-tun! Now let the owl try to turn up his nose in front of me!

Stomper stomped heavily out of the barn, grumbling joyfully:

Now at least you feel like a real bear!

Oorfene harnessed Topotun to a cart, took Guamoko and the clown with him, and rode into Kogida with great style. The iron pans rattled as the cart bounced over bumps and startled munchkins came running in droves.

Oorfene Deuce is a powerful wizard,” they whispered. - He revived a tame bear that died last year...

Deuce listened to snippets of these conversations and his heart overflowed with pride. He ordered the housewives to dismantle the baking sheets and they, timidly glancing sideways at the bear and the eagle owl, quickly cleared the cart.

Do you understand now who is the master in Kogid? - Urfin asked sternly.

“We understand,” the munchkins humbly answered and began to cry.

At home, after thinking about it, Oorfene Deuce decided that he would use the powder extremely sparingly. He ordered a tinsmith to make several flasks with tightly screwed lids, poured powder into them and buried the flasks under a tree in the garden. He no longer believed in the reliability of the closet.

THE BIRTH OF THE WOODEN ARMY

Oorfene Deuce understood that if he alone worked on creating a wooden army, even a small one, the work would drag on for a long time.

A bear appeared in Kogida and roared with a trumpet voice. The frightened munchkins came running.

Our lord, Oorfene Deuce, - announced Topotun, - ordered that six men come to him every day to prepare logs in the forest. They must come with their axes and saws.

The munchkins cried bitterly... and agreed.

In the forest, Oorfene Deuce marked the trees that needed to be felled and indicated how they should be cut.

The harvested ridges from the forest were transported to Urfene's yard by Topotun. There the carpenter placed them to dry, not in the sun, but in the shade, so that they would not crack.

A few weeks later, when the logs were dry, Oorfene Deuce got to work. He rough-hewed the torsos and made blanks for arms and legs. At first, Urfin planned to limit himself to five platoons of soldiers, ten in each platoon: he believed that this was quite enough to seize power over the Blue Country.

Each ten soldiers will be led by a corporal, and all will be commanded by a general - the leader of the wooden army.

Urfin wanted to make the soldiers' torsos from pine, since it is easier to process, but the carpenter decided to attach oak heads to them in case the soldiers had to fight with their heads. And in general, for soldiers who should not reason, oak heads are most suitable.

For the corporals, Urfene prepared mahogany, and for the general, with great difficulty, he found precious rosewood in the forest. Pine soldiers with oak heads will revere mahogany corporals, and these in turn will revere the handsome rosewood general.

Making wooden figures in full human height was a new thing for Urfin, and to begin with, he built a test soldier. Of course, this soldier had a fierce face, and his eyes were glass buttons. Reviving the soldier, Oorfene sprinkled a miraculous powder on his head and chest, hesitated a little, and suddenly a wooden hand, unbending, dealt him such a strong blow that he flew back five steps. Angry, Oorfene grabbed an ax and was about to chop up the figure lying on the floor, but he immediately came to his senses.

“I’ll do some work for myself,” he thought. “However, he also has strength... With such soldiers, I will be invincible!”

Having made the second soldier, Oorfene Deuce began to think: it would take many months to create his wooden army. And he couldn’t wait to go on a hike. And he decided to turn the first two soldiers into apprentices.

Page 1 of 22

Part one Miracle powder

Lonely carpenter

The southwest of the Magic Land was inhabited by Munchkins - timid and sweet little people, whose adult man was no taller than an eight-year-old boy from those lands where people do not know miracles.
The ruler of the Blue Country of Munchkins was Gingema, an evil sorceress who lived in a deep dark cave, which the Munchkins were afraid to approach. But among them, to everyone’s surprise, there was a man who built himself a house not far from the witch’s home. It was a certain Oorfene Deuce.
Even in childhood, Urfin differed from his kind, kind-hearted fellow tribesmen by his grumpy character. He rarely played with the guys, and if he entered the game, he demanded that everyone obey him. And usually the game with his participation ended in a fight.
Urfin's parents died early, and the boy was taken as an apprentice by a carpenter who lived in the village of Kogida. Growing up, Oorfene became more and more quarrelsome, and when he learned carpentry, he left his teacher without regret, without even thanking him for his science. However, a kind craftsman gave him the tools and everything he needed to get started.
Urfin became a skilled carpenter; he made tables, benches, agricultural implements and much more. But, oddly enough, the master’s angry and grumpy character was transmitted to his products. The pitchforks he made tried to butt their owner in the side, the shovels hit him on the forehead, the rakes tried to catch his legs and knock him over.
Oorfene Deuce has lost his customers.
He started making toys. But the hares, bears and deer he carved had such fierce faces that children, looking at them, were frightened and then cried all night. The toys were collecting dust in Urfin's closet; no one was buying them.
Oorfene Deuce got angry, abandoned his usual craft and stopped showing up in the village. He began to live from the fruits of his garden.
The lonely carpenter hated his relatives so much that he tried not to be like them in any way. Munchkins lived in round blue houses with pointed roofs and crystal balls on top. Oorfene Deuce built himself a quadrangular house, painted it brown, and planted a stuffed eagle on the roof.
Munchkins wore blue caftans and blue boots, while Urfin's caftan and boots were green. Munchkins had pointed hats with wide brims, and silver bells dangled under the brim. Oorfene Deuce hated bells and wore a brimless hat. The soft-hearted Munchkins cried at every opportunity, and no one had ever seen a tear in Oorfene’s gloomy eyes.
Munchkins got their nickname because their jaws constantly move, as if chewing something. Deuce also had this habit, but he, although with great difficulty, got rid of it. Oorfene spent hours looking in the mirror and at the first attempt of his jaws to start chewing, he immediately stopped them.
Yes, this man had great willpower, but, unfortunately, he directed it not for good, but for evil.
* * *
Several years have passed. One day, Oorfene Deuce came to Gingema and asked the old sorceress to take him into her service. The evil sorceress was very happy: for centuries, not a single Munchkin volunteered to serve Gingema, and all her orders were carried out only under the threat of punishment. Now the sorceress had an assistant who willingly carried out all sorts of tasks. And the more unpleasant Gingema’s orders were for the Munchkins, the more zealously Oorfene conveyed them. The gloomy carpenter especially liked to walk through the villages of the Blue Country and impose tribute on the inhabitants - so many snakes, mice, frogs, leeches and spiders.
Munchkins were terribly afraid of snakes, spiders and leeches. Having received the order to collect them, the little timid people began to sob. At the same time, they took off their hats and placed them on the ground so that the ringing of the bells would not interfere with their crying. And Oorfene looked at the tears of his relatives and laughed evilly. Then, on the appointed day, he appeared with large baskets, collected tribute and took it to Gingema’s cave. There this good either went to the witch's food or was used for evil magic.
On the day when Ellie’s house was crushed by Gingema, Oorfene was not with the sorceress: he went on her business to a remote part of the Blue Country. The news of the death of the sorceress caused Deuce both grief and joy. He regretted that he had lost his powerful patroness, but now hoped to take advantage of the wealth and power of the sorceress.
The area around the cave was deserted. Ellie and Totoshka went to the Emerald City.
Deuce had the idea to settle in a cave and declare himself the successor of Gingema and the ruler of the Blue Country - after all, the timid Munchkins would not be able to resist this.
But the smoky cave with bundles of smoked mice on nails, with a stuffed crocodile under the ceiling and other paraphernalia of the magical craft looked so damp and gloomy that even Oorfene shuddered.
“Brr!..” he muttered. - To live in this grave?.. No, I humbly thank you!
Oorfene began to look for the witch's silver shoes, because he knew that Gingema valued them most of all. But in vain he searched the cave; there were no shoes.
- Wow-wow-wow! - came mockingly from a high perch, and Oorfene shuddered.
The eyes of an eagle owl looked down at him, glowing yellow in the darkness of the cave.

– Is that you, Guam?
“Not Guam, but Guamocolatokint,” the vain owl objected grumpily.
-Where are the other eagle owls?
- They flew away.
-Why did you stay?
-What should I do in the forest? Catching birds like simple eagle owls and owls? Fi!.. I'm too old and wise for such a troublesome task.
Deuce had a cunning thought.
- Listen, Guam... - The owl was silent... - Guamoko... - Silence. - Guamocolatokint!
“I’m listening to you,” the owl responded.
– Do you want to live with me? I will feed you mice and tender chicks.
- Not for nothing, of course? - muttered the wise bird.
- People, seeing that you serve me, will consider me a wizard.
“It’s not a bad idea,” said the owl. “And to begin my service, I will say that you are looking in vain for the silver slippers.” They were carried away by a small animal of a breed unknown to me.
Having looked at Oorfene vigilantly, the owl asked:
– When will you start eating frogs and leeches?
- What? - Urfin was surprised. - Are there any leeches? For what?
- Because this food is reserved for evil wizards by law. Do you remember how conscientiously Gingema ate mice and snacked on leeches?
Oorfene remembered and shuddered: the food of the old sorceress always disgusted him, and during Gingema’s breakfasts and lunches he would leave the cave under some pretext.
“Listen, Guamoko... Guamocolatokint,” he said ingratiatingly, “is it possible to do without this?”
“I told you, and then it’s up to you,” the owl finished the conversation dryly.
With a sigh, Oorfene collected some of the witch's property, put the owl on his shoulder and went home.
The oncoming Munchkins, seeing the gloomy Oorfene, scared away to the side.
Returning to his place, Oorfene lived in his house with an owl, not meeting people, not loving anyone, not being loved by anyone.

Extraordinary plant

One evening a strong storm broke out. Thinking that this storm was caused by the evil Oorfene Deuce, the Munchkins cowered in fear and expected that their houses were about to collapse.
But nothing like that happened. But, getting up in the morning and examining the garden, Oorfene Deuce saw several bright green sprouts of an unusual appearance in the salad bed. Obviously, their seeds were carried into the garden by a hurricane. But what part of the country they came from has forever remained a mystery.
“It’s been a long time since I weeded the beds,” grumbled Oorfene Deuce, “and now these weeds are creeping up again.” Well, just wait, I'll deal with you in the evening.
Oorfene went into the forest, where he had snares set, and spent the whole day there. Secretly from Guamoco, he took a frying pan and oil with him, fried a fat rabbit and ate it with pleasure.
Returning home, Deuce gasped in surprise. In the salad bed, powerful, bright green plants with oblong, fleshy leaves rose to the height of a man.
- That's the thing! - Urfin cried. “These weeds wasted no time!”
He walked over to the garden bed and tugged at one of the plants to pull it up by the roots. Not so! The plant didn’t even move, and Oorfene Deuce hurt his hands with small sharp thorns that covered the trunk and leaves.

Oorfene got angry, pulled the thorns out of his palms, put on leather gloves and again began to pull the plant from the garden bed. But he didn't have enough strength. Then Deuce armed himself with an ax and began to chop the plants at the roots.
“Boar, boar, boar,” the ax cut into the succulent stems, and the plants fell to the ground.
- So so so! - Oorfene Deuce triumphed. He fought the weeds as if they were living enemies.
When the massacre was over, night fell, and the tired Urfin went to bed.
The next morning he walked out onto the porch, and the hair on his head stood on end with amazement.
And in the salad bed, where the roots of unknown weeds remained, and on the smoothly trampled path where the carpenter dragged the cut stems, tall plants with bright green fleshy leaves stood everywhere in a dense wall.
- Oh, you are! - Oorfene Deuce roared angrily and rushed into battle.
The carpenter chopped the cut stems and uprooted roots into small pieces on a log for chopping firewood.
At the end of the garden, behind the trees, there was a vacant lot. There Oorfene Deuce carried the plants chopped into porridge and threw them in all directions in anger.
The work continued all day, but finally the garden was cleared of invaders, and the tired Oorfene Deuce went to rest. He slept poorly: he was tormented by nightmares, it seemed to him that unknown plants were surrounding him and trying to hurt him with their thorns.
Getting up at dawn, the carpenter first went to the wasteland to see what was going on there. Opening the gate, he quietly gasped and sank helplessly to the ground, shocked by what he saw. The vitality of unfamiliar plants turned out to be extraordinary. The barren land of the wasteland was completely covered with young growth.
When Urfin the day before in a rage scattered green crumbs, his splashes fell on fence posts and tree trunks: these splashes took root there, and young plants peeked out from there.
Struck by a sudden guess, Urfin threw off his boots. Tiny sprouts grew thickly green on their soles. Sprouts peeked out from the seams of clothes. The log for chopping wood was bristling with shoots. Deuce rushed into the closet: the ax handle was also covered with young growth.
Urfin sat down on the porch and thought. What to do? Should I leave here and live somewhere else? But it’s a pity to leave the comfortable, roomy house and garden.
Oorfene approached the owl. He sat on a perch, squinting his yellow eyes from the daylight. Deuce told about his trouble. The owl rocked on his perch for a long time, thinking.

“Try frying them in the sun,” he advised.
Oorfene Deuce finely chopped several young shoots, placed them on an iron sheet with curved edges and took them out into the open area under the hot rays of the sun.
- Let's see if you can grow here! – he muttered angrily. - If you sprout, I will leave these places.

The plants did not germinate. The roots did not have enough strength to penetrate the iron. A few hours later, the hot sun of the Magic Land turned the green mass into brown powder.
“It’s not in vain that I feed Guam,” said the satisfied Urfin. - Wise bird...
Having grabbed a wheelbarrow, Deuce went to Kogida to collect iron baking sheets from the owners on which pies are baked. He returned with a wheelbarrow filled to the brim with baking sheets.
Oorfene shook his fist at his enemies.
“Now I’ll deal with you,” he hissed through clenched teeth.
Hard labor began. Oorfene Deuce worked tirelessly from dawn to dusk, only taking a short break during the day.
He acted very carefully. Having outlined a small area, he carefully cleared it of plants, leaving not the slightest particle. He crushed the plants dug up with roots in an iron basin and laid them out to dry on baking sheets arranged in even rows in a sunny place. Oorfene Deuce poured the brown powder into iron buckets and covered them with iron lids. Perseverance and perseverance did their job. The carpenter did not give the enemy the slightest loophole.
The area occupied by bright green thorny weeds became smaller every day. And then the moment came when the last bush turned into a light brown powder.
After a week of work, Deuce was so exhausted that he could barely stand on his feet.
Stepping over the threshold, Oorfene stumbled, the bucket tilted, and some of the brown powder spilled onto a bear skin lying at the threshold instead of a carpet.
The carpenter did not see this; he removed the last bucket, closed it as usual, trudged to the bed and fell into a deep sleep.
He woke up because someone was persistently tugging at his arm hanging from the bed. Opening his eyes, Oorfene was numb with horror: a bear was standing by the bed and holding the sleeve of his caftan in its teeth.
“I’m dead,” thought the carpenter. - He will bite me to death... But where did the bear come from in the house? The door was closed..."
Minutes passed, the bear did not show hostile intentions, but only pulled Urfin by the sleeve, and suddenly a hoarse bass voice was heard:
- Master! It's time to get up, you've been sleeping too long!
Oorfene Deuce was so amazed that he fell head over heels from the bed: the bearskin, which had previously been lying on the threshold, stood on all fours by the carpenter’s bed and shook its head.
“This is the skin of my pet bear coming to life. She walks, talks... But why is this? Is it really spilled powder?..”
To check his guess, Urfin turned to the owl:
- Guam... Guamoco!..
The owl was silent.
- Listen, you impudent bird! – the carpenter yelled fiercely. “I’ve been racking my tongue for quite some time, completely pronouncing your damned name!” If you don’t want to answer, go into the forest and get your own food!
Owl responded conciliatoryly:
- Okay, don't get angry! Guamoco is Guamoco, but I won't settle for anything less. What did you want to ask me?
– Is it true that the vital force of an unknown plant is so great that even its powder revived the skin?
- Is it true. I heard about this plant from the wisest of the eagle owls, my great-grandfather Karitophylaxis...
- Enough! - Urfin barked. - Shut up! And you, skin, get back to your place, don’t bother me thinking!
The skin obediently moved to the threshold and lay down in its usual place.
- That's the thing! - Oorfene Deuce muttered, sitting down at the table and resting his shaggy head in his hands. “The question now is, is this thing useful to me or not?”
After much thought, the ambitious carpenter decided that this thing was useful to him, as it gave him greater power over things.
But it was still necessary to check how great the power of the life-giving powder was. On the table stood a stuffed parrot made by Urfin with blue, red and green feathers. The carpenter took out a pinch of brown powder and sprinkled it on the head and back of the stuffed animal.
An amazing thing happened. The powder began to smoke with a slight hiss and began to disappear. Its brown grains seemed to melt, being absorbed into the parrot’s skin between the feathers. The stuffed animal moved, raised its head, looked around... The revived parrot flapped its wings and flew out of the open window with a sharp cry.
- It works! - Oorfene Deuce shouted in delight. – It works!.. What else should I try?

Huge deer antlers were nailed to the wall as decoration, and Urfin generously sprinkled them with life-giving powder.
“We’ll see what happens,” the carpenter grinned.
We didn't have to wait very long for the result. Again a light smoke over the horns, the disappearance of the grains... The nails being torn out of the wall crackled, the horns fell to the floor and rushed at Oorfene Deuce with wild fury.
- Guard! – the frightened carpenter screamed, running away from the horns.
But with unexpected dexterity they pursued him everywhere: on the bed, on the table and under the table. Bearskin cowered in fear at the closed door.
- Master! - she screamed. - Open the door!..
Dodging the blows, Urfin pulled back the bolt and flew out onto the porch. A bear skin rushed behind him with a roar, and then the horns jumped wildly. All this mixed up on the porch into a screaming and tumbling heap and rolled down the steps. And from the house came the mocking hoot of an eagle owl. The horns knocked down the gate and rushed towards the forest in huge leaps. Oorfene Deuce, battered and bruised, rose from the ground.

- Damn it! – he groaned, feeling his sides. - This is too much!
The skin said reproachfully:
“Don’t you know, master, that now is the time when the deer are terribly pugnacious.” It’s also good that you stayed alive... Well, now the deer in the forest will suffer from these antlers! - And the bearskin laughed hoarsely. From this, Urfin concluded that the powder must be handled carefully and not revive anything. The room was in complete disarray: everything was broken, overturned, the dishes were broken, fluff from a torn pillow was swirling in the air. Deuce angrily said to the owl:
“Why didn’t you warn me that it’s dangerous to animate the horns?”
The vindictive bird replied:
“Guamocolatokint would have warned, but Guamoco lacked the insight to do so.”
Having decided to settle accounts with the owl for his deceit later, Oorfene began to restore order in the room. He picked up the wooden clown he had once made from the floor. The clown had a fierce face and a mouth with bared sharp teeth, and therefore no one bought him.
“Well, I think you won’t do as much trouble as the horn,” said Oorfene and sprinkled powder on the clown.
Having done this, he put the toy on the table, and he sat down on a stool nearby and began to daydream. He came to his senses from acute pain: the revived toy grabbed his finger with its teeth.
- And you too, you rubbish! - Oorfene Deuce became furious and threw the clown to the floor with a flourish.
He hobbled to the far corner, hid behind a chest and remained sitting there, shaking his arms, legs and head for his own pleasure.

Part one. Wonderful powder.
Lonely carpenter

Somewhere in the depths of the vast North American continent, surrounded by a vast desert and a ring of inaccessible mountains, lay the Magic Land. Good and evil fairies lived there, animals and birds talked there, it was summer all year round, and under the ever-hot sun, unprecedented fruits grew on the trees.

The southwest of the Magic Land was inhabited by munchkins - timid and sweet little people, whose adult man was no taller than an eight-year-old boy from those lands where people do not know miracles.

The ruler of the Blue Country of Munchkins was Gingema, an evil sorceress who lived in a deep dark cave, which the munchkins were afraid to approach. But to everyone’s surprise, there was a man who built himself a house not far from the witch’s home. It was a certain Oorfene Deuce.

Even in childhood, Urfin differed from his kind, soft-hearted fellow tribesmen by his grumpy character. He rarely played with the guys, and if he entered the game, he demanded that everyone obey him. And usually the game with his participation ended in a fight.

Urfin's parents died early, and the boy was taken as an apprentice by a carpenter who lived in the village of Kogida. Growing up, Urfin became more and more quarrelsome, and when he learned carpentry, he left his teacher without regret, without even thanking him for his care. However, a kind craftsman gave him the tools and everything he needed to get started.

Urfin became a skilled carpenter; he made tables, benches, agricultural implements and much more. But oddly enough, the master’s angry and grumpy character was transmitted to his products. The pitchforks he made tried to butt its owner in the side, the shovels hit him on the forehead, the rakes tried to catch his legs and overturn him. Oorfene Deuce has lost his customers.

He started making toys. But the hares, bears and deer he carved had such fierce faces that children, looking at them, were frightened and then cried all night. The toys were collecting dust in Urfin's closet; no one was buying them.

Oorfene Deuce became very angry, abandoned his craft and stopped showing up in the village. He began to live from the fruits of his garden. The lonely carpenter hated his relatives so much that he tried not to be like them in anything.

Munchkins lived in round blue houses with pointed roofs and crystal balls on top. Oorfene Deuce built himself a quadrangular house, painted it brown, and planted a stuffed eagle on the roof of the house.

Munchkins wore blue caftans and blue boots, while Urfin's caftan and boots were green. Munchkins had pointed hats with wide brims, and silver bells dangled under the brims. Oorfene Deuce hated bells and wore a brimless hat. The soft-hearted munchkins cried at every opportunity, and no one ever shed a tear in Oorfene’s gloomy eyes.

Several years have passed. One day, Oorfene Deuce came to Gingema and asked the old sorceress to take him into her service. The evil sorceress was very happy - for centuries, not a single munchkin volunteered to serve Gingema, and all her orders were carried out only under the threat of punishment. Now the sorceress had an assistant who willingly carried out all sorts of tasks. And the more unpleasant Gingema’s orders were for the munchkins, the more zealously Oorfene conveyed them to the munchkins.

The gloomy carpenter especially liked to go to the villages of the Blue Country and impose tribute on the inhabitants - so many snakes, mice, frogs, leeches and spiders.

Munchkins were terribly afraid of snakes, spiders and leeches. Having received the order to collect them, the little timid people began to sob. At the same time, they took off their hats and placed them on the ground so that the ringing of the bells would not interfere with their crying. And Oorfene looked at the tears of his relatives and laughed evilly. Then, on the appointed day, he appeared with large baskets, collected tribute and took it to Gingema’s cave. There this good either went to the witch's food or was used for evil magic.

One day, the evil Gingema, who hated the entire human race, decided to destroy it. To do this, she conjured a monstrous hurricane and sent it over the mountains, over the desert, so that it would destroy all the cities, all the villages and bury people under their rubble. But this did not happen.

In the north-west of the Magic Land lived the good sorceress Villina. She learned about Gingema's insidious plan and neutralized it. Villina allowed the hurricane to capture only one small house-van in the Kansas steppe, removed from its wheels and placed on the ground. By order of Villina, a whirlwind brought the house to the country of the munchkins, dropped it on Gingema’s head and the evil sorceress died.

To the surprise of Villina, who came to see how her magic worked, a little girl Ellie was in the house. She ran after her beloved dog Totoshka into the house just before the whirlwind picked him up and carried him away.

Villina could not return the girl home and advised her to go for help to the Emerald City - the center of the Magic Land. There were all sorts of rumors about the ruler of the Emerald City, Goodwin, the great and terrible. Rumor claimed that it would cost Goodwin nothing to send down fiery rain on the fields or fill all the houses with rats and toads. And therefore they talked about Goodwin in a whisper and with caution, in case the wizard was offended by some careless word.

Ellie listened to the good fairy and went to Goodwin in the hope that the wizard is not as scary as they say about him, and he will help her return to Kansas. The girl did not have to meet the gloomy carpenter Oorfene Deuce.

On the day when Ellie’s house was crushed by Gingema, Oorfene was not with the sorceress: he went on her business to a remote part of the Blue Country. The news of the death of the sorceress caused Deuce both grief and joy. He regretted that he had lost his powerful patroness, but now hoped to take advantage of the wealth and power of the sorceress. oskazkah.ru - website

The area around the cave was deserted. Ellie and Totoshka went to the Emerald City. Deuce had the idea to settle in a cave and declare himself the successor of Gingema and the ruler of the Blue Country. After all, timid chewers will not be able to resist this. But the smoky cave with bundles of smoked mice on nails, with a stuffed crocodile under the ceiling and other paraphernalia of the magical craft looked so damp and gloomy that Oorfene shuddered.

Brr!.. - he muttered. -Live in this grave? No, thank you very much!

Oorfene began to look for the witch's silver shoes, since he knew that Gingema valued them most. But in vain he searched the cave; there were no shoes.

Wow-wow-wow! - came mockingly from the high platform, and Oorfene shuddered. The eyes of an eagle owl looked down at him, glowing yellow in the darkness of the cave.

Is that you, Guam? “Not Guam, but Guamokolatokint,” the owl objected grumpily.

Where are the other eagle owls?

They flew away.

Why did you stay?

What should I do in the forest? Catching birds like simple eagle owls and owls? Fi!.. I'm too old and wise for such a troublesome task.

Deuce had a cunning thought.

Listen, Guam.. - The owl was silent. - Guamoco. - Silence. - Guamocolatokint!

“I’m listening to you,” the owl responded.

Do you want to live with me? I will feed you mice and tender chicks.

Not for nothing, of course? - muttered the wise bird.

People, seeing that you serve me, will consider me a wizard.

“It’s not a bad idea,” said the owl. - And to begin my service, I will say that you are looking in vain for the silver shoes, they were carried away by a small animal of a breed unknown to me.

Having looked at Oorfene vigilantly, the owl asked:

When will you start eating frogs and leeches?

What? - Urfin was surprised. - Are there any leeches? For what?

Because this food is reserved for evil wizards by law - remember how conscientiously Gingema ate mice and snacked on leeches?

Oorfene remembered and shuddered; the food of the old sorceress always disgusted him, and during Gingema’s breakfasts and lunches he would leave the cave under some pretext.

Listen, Guamoco... Guamocolatokint? - he said ingratiatingly, - is it possible to do without this?

With a sigh, Oorfene collected some of the witch's property, put the owl on his shoulder and went home. The munchkins we met, seeing the gloomy Urfin, scared away to the side. Returning to his place, Oorfene lived in his house with an owl, not meeting people, not loving anyone, not being loved by anyone.